Good Enough for Me
by Rhino7
Summary: Collection of ditties revolving around Leon, Tifa, and occasionally Duke. Friendship based but can be read as a pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Good Enough for Me**

**By Rhino7**

**Disclaimer: Hey guys. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties and Duke and McCallister are mine though. So, lately a bunch of little ideas have been cropping up in my head, but they aren't long enough to cut it as full oneshots, so they've just been accumulating as shorts. I thought I'd just post 'em as randoms. **

**These are mostly set in my Alliance-verse, but if you haven't read any of that, these should still be pretty easy to slip into. Enjoy the collection of ditties. The working title is a line from **_**I'm Alive**_** by Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews, which I have no affiliation with nor ownership of.**

**..:--X--:..**

**001 - Scare Tactic**

"Okay, well, thanks for walking me back." Tifa desperately fumbled with the doorknob, turning it to escape into the apartment.

Oh dear god, he looked like he was trying for a kiss.

Not gonna happen.

The lights were on inside and Tifa thanked her lucky stars, letting the door fall open more than was necessary as she slid out of the hallway. A quick glance back showed Leon, not looking up from where he was working on something or other.

Her 'date' was either in pain or trying to give her a seductive Blue Steel look. Whatever it was, it failed miserably and she hid a grimace through a tight smile.

"Nice apartment." He remarked, a thinly veiled self-invitation, before abruptly choking on his words as he looked into the apartment, spotting Leon. Alarm and confusion flooded his eyes at the better built, taller, more muscled swordsman.

"Uh huh, good night." Tifa just closed the door.

With a heavy groan, she leaned her back against the door and let her bag fall to the floor. Leon finally looked up, though he looked thoroughly uninterested in what had just transpired.

"Thank you." She said, stepping out of her shoes and shuddering the bad date's overpowering cologne off of her.

"For what?" Leon grunted, closing a manila file folder.

"For being sexually intimidating." She glanced out the window to make sure the creepy date had left.

Leon snorted and rolled his eyes, getting back to work.

Tifa just shuddered once more. "I'm never letting McCallister set me up on a blind date again."

**..:--X--:..**

**002 Master**

"Here, girl…C'mere, Duke…Come on." Tifa clapped her hands, snapped her fingers, and tapped her knees.

The red-gold retriever perked her ears but didn't move from her curled up position on the floor.

"Come." Tifa patted her knee, sitting on the couch. "Roll over. Stand. Play dead."

"What are you doing?" Leon asked flatly from the other room.

"There's something wrong with your dog." Tifa replied, not looking up. "She's completely unresponsive."

She heard him moving around in his room. "Maybe she doesn't like you."

"Dogs love everybody." Tifa snapped and then looked back to Duke. "Here, girl. I'll pet you. I'll give you a treat." She coaxed.

"You can't bribe a dog." Leon walked out of his room and toward the door.

"I give up." Tifa sat up back in defeat. "That canine is untrainable."

Leon grunted and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. Before closing it, he let out a shrill whistle. Duke immediately shot to all fours and hurried out after him.

Tifa scoffed and barely caught Leon's amused smirk as he closed the door after him.

**..:--X--:..**

**003 Degrees of Separation**

Tifa had barely climbed out of the Gummi onto the sandy shore of Atlantica when she was nearly bombarded by the dark haired girl.

"Excuse me. I'm looking for somebody." She chirped, sounding all too chipper for this early in the morning.

Tifa looked at the young woman's jacket, recognizing the pattern but unable to place where she'd seen it before.

"Join the club." She said, unloading her bag from the ship. "Who are you looking for?"

"He's tall and has brown hair."

Well, that narrowed the search down to 80 percent of the male population in the Alliance.

"Sorry, can you be more specific?"

The busy market crowd was quickly sweeping the woman away and out of earshot.

"His name's—" She stammered, trying to resist being battered away, but her words were lost in the yammer of the busy people around them

She appeared to give up after a few seconds and went on to start asking the others around her. Tifa finished unloading her ship and glanced back. The woman was enthusiastically questioning a peg-legged sailor. Her back was turned to Tifa. She had wings painted on the back of her jacket, which Tifa found odd and infuriatingly familiar.

The woman was quickly forgotten, however, as Tifa's bag ripped and her items and materials clattered to the sand. With a curse, she knelt to clean them up. When she stood again, the woman was gone and Tifa's thoughts were back on her mission.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. I do own these ditties, plus Duke and McCallister. Prepare for another round of my random plunnies! I hope they amuse, if nothing else.**

**..:--X--:..**

**004 - Dislocation**

Sometimes one hears things that one can never unhear.

"Keep going."

"Hold still."

"Just do it!"

"I'm trying, but you're moving too much."

"Ah!"

The poor intern stood outside Tifa Lockhart's office, fiddling with his papers. This was a conundrum. On one hand, she needed this file as soon as possible. On the other hand, he did NOT want to interrupt…whatever…was happening on the other side of Lockhart's closed door.

"Ow, ow!"

"Sorry, it's not going."

"Will you just—"

"The angle's wrong."

A gasp and a yelp, followed by a crash of something falling off a desk.

"Now."

"Ready?"

"Oh god, Leon, just shove it in!"

The intern blanched and turned, walking away as quickly as he could and trying to block the images as Lockhart let out a loud moan.

Back inside her office, with a crack and a violent jerk, Leon twisted Tifa's shoulder, shoving the joint back into the socket. Tifa bit her lip hard and stifled a whimper as pain rocketed from her shoulder, down her arm and through her collar.

"Ah, dammit." She dropped her head, cupping the arm around her side. "Thanks."

Leon let go and backed up a step. "Don't use that arm for a while."

Tifa gave him a flat look that said: no shit. He looked like he was fighting a smirk and set a bottle of pain killers on her desk before turning to go back to his office.

"Make sure it's dead next time before you turn around, yeah?" He tossed back.

A string of curse words followed him out of Tifa's office.

**..:--X--:..**

**005 – Free Entertainment**

"—on a day hot enough to make the devil sigh." The radio sang as Tifa moved around the kitchen, making herself a sandwich.

Twangy country music usually did nothing for her, but this one happened to be very catchy. She hummed the tune as the accented voice continued with the guitar.

"I wasn't in a hurry, so I slowed down—" She sang the words.

This was the fourth time the song had been repeated in the last two hours, so she at least knew the chorus. She danced from the refrigerator to the counter, opening the grape jelly.

"—took a two lane road to a one horse town." She fixed her lunch in tune to the song.

Snatching up a mixing spoon as a microphone, she did a little spin and made up her own little dance steps as she bopped back to the fridge to fill her glass with ice. The song thrummed on and she belted out the few words she remembered, humming loudly to the words she didn't know, and knocking her knuckles on every available surface to the beat.

As she spun back around to set the glass on the counter, she happened to look up and saw Leon standing in the doorway, watching her with a mixed expression of bewilderment and amusement. She immediately straightened and started slapping at the radio to turn it off.

They just looked at each other for a moment in awkward silence as the music continued to blare. Then Leon sighed, turned around, and went back the way he'd come, closing the door behind him. Tifa stood there, spoon-microphone in hand, staring at the door.

Then the song hit the chorus and she abruptly went back to dancing.

"She said we got a hundred gallons of sweet red w-III-ne!" She sang loud and off pitch, putting the grape jelly back in the fridge. "Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine—"

She hummed as she finished making her sandwich and poured water into her glass. "—but obey the law: if you drink, don't drive, do the watermelon crawl!"

**..:--X--:..**

**006 – The Old Ball Game**

"So…now what happens?" Tifa asked.

"He's out." Leon said bluntly.

"Thanks, I gathered that much. Why?"

"Because he swung and didn't hit it."

"He swung earlier and didn't hit it."

"But that was just one strike. That right there was his third one."

"So…three strikes and you're out?"

"Exactly." Leon sat back, propping his boots up on the coffee table.

"What if he doesn't swing?" Tifa squinted at the television in the break room.

"Depends on if it was a strike or not."

"And that guy with the mean face decides that?" She pointed.

"Right."

On the screen, the player with the wooden bat swung and hit the ball, sending it shooting off sharply to the right.

"Hey, hey, he hit it!" Tifa sat up, "Why isn't he running?"

"Because it went foul." Leon explained, as though to a slow person.

"Foul…That's outside those poles." She mused aloud. "Out of play."

"Unless one of the fielders catches it in the air. Then the batter is out."

"That's unfair."

Leon shrugged and kept his arms folded. Tifa sat with her elbows on her knees, trying to understand the bizarre sport that Leon had found on some random channel.

"You've played this before?" She asked.

"Nope. Just found it." He replied flatly.

"Then how do you know the rules?"

They both tilted their heads and leaned sideways as another 'foul ball' hit just to the right of the 'foul pole'.

"Been watching it for two hours." was his delayed response.

Another throw and another 'strike' and the guy with the mean face threw an arm out with a guttural cry of: "Yeeeeer oooooout!"

Tifa clucked her tongue and started to get up. "What IS it with men and sports? I don't see what is so captivating about a game of—"

The player on the screen swung the bat and sent the ball flying across the field. The other guys on the field were running toward it, but the ball kept going, flying over the farthest fence and out of the playing area.

"Oh!" Tifa clapped her hands and dropped back onto the couch, "He hit it out! That's awesome. What does that mean? Is that good?"

"Home run." Leon answered, taking a drink from his beer as they watched the rest of the game.

**..:--X--:..**

**A/N 005:** Song was Watermelon Crawl by Tracy Byrd, with which I have no ownership of nor any affiliation with…It was just stuck in my head for two days.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Now that I finally have time to write, I'm pumping these things out like water. I hope they're at least half-decent. Enjoy round three!**

**..:--X--:..**

**007 - Formal Attire**

Tifa checked the clock on the wall, tapping her high heeled shoe on the floor impatiently.

"Seriously? We're supposed to be there in five minutes." She called out, folding her arms and checking her hair in the mirror for the umpteenth time.

"Go solo if you're so impatient." Leon grumbled from his room.

"Oh no." She said, smoothing her dress. "I'm not going to this ridiculous thing by myself. The Council wants all the big guns to show up."

Leon grumbled something along the lines of: "This is stupid."

Tifa fixed the shoulder strap of her dress, "Stop being a baby. At least YOU don't have to wear heels. I swear, these things were invented to torture women."

"—like a friggin' penguin—" He mumbled.

She snorted and checked her watch again. "It's a charity banquet. They're all going to be staring at the yacht that's being auctioned. I'm hiding out at the open bar; I don't know about you."

His door opened and, with all the reluctance of a two year old, Leon stepped out, glaring daggers at Tifa, threatening her not to say anything about the tux he was being forced to wear. Tifa covered her mouth to hide her grin and stifle the giggles.

Leon pointed at her. "Not a word."

She shook her head shortly, "I didn't say anything."

"Yeah, keep it that way." He grunted sourly, shouldering past her to leave.

Tifa snickered and followed him out. "Lead the way, Mr. Bond."

He cast her a dangerous look and she just laughed at his expense.

**..:--X--:..**

**008 - Charley Horse**

"Oh, shit, shit, shit." Tifa yelped, followed by a thud in the break room of the Allied headquarters.

McCallister looked up in alarm, but Leon just sighed and waved her off, going into the break room to investigate what was going on for himself. He walked into the break room to find Tifa on the floor, one knee curled up to her chin, hugging her leg to herself.

Alarm shot up his spine for a brief moment.

"What happened?" He asked.

She looked up at him. "Cramp. Charley Horse. Bad one." She hissed through gritted teeth.

"Easy." He said laxly.

"Ow, geez." She drew a deep breath. "Feels like it's in knots."

"Try straightening your leg out." He advised.

"I don't want to. It hurts." She said, almost whining.

"Okay, calm down." He said, deadpan expression in place, helping her get upright and onto the couch.

Tifa sat awkwardly, leaving her leg curled up. Leon perched on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Try to rub it out." He suggested.

Tifa was already massaging one hand around her thigh, trying to work the coiled, constricted muscle loose. By the painful way she was biting her lip, it wasn't working very well.

With a tentative sigh, he lifted a hand, offering to help. She complied, granting permission by shifting her leg slightly. She ran a hand over her face in exasperation. He prodded at her leg until he found the worst spot of the contorting muscle.

Forcing all discomfort aside, he made a fist and started kneading his knuckles over the spot on the side of her thigh, unconsciously sliding his other hand under her knee to stop her squirming. Tifa kept her head tilted back and her eyes closed as Leon worked the cramp loose. After a while, her knee gained some slack and he carefully stretched it out, propping her foot on the coffee table.

"Is everything ok—Oh, sorry." McCallister walked in, immediately looking away upon seeing Leon's hand on Tifa's thigh.

He rolled his eyes. "It was a charley horse, McCallister. Bring an ice pack over here."

"No, no," Tifa waved a hand, "I'm fine. It just caught me off guard."

Leon dismissed that statement with a look to McCallister, who quickly fetched an ice pack, handing it over. He took the cold bag and shooed the soldier. She looked embarrassed and hastily left. Shaking his head at her weird behavior, he propped the ice pack against the offending area on Tifa's thigh and then sat back.

"Better?" He said, standing.

Tifa wordlessly flashed him an 'okay' handsign. Satisfied that she was all right, he made to leave the room and let her pull herself together.

"Now we're even." He remarked and went back to his office.

**..:--X--:..**

**009 - Giggles**

Tifa was either in pain or…or Leon had no idea. She was standing with her back to him, one hand against the side of the Gummi Ship, steadying herself, like she was having trouble standing. Squinting one eye, he looked to a nearby pilot, who shrugged and walked away.

"Are you all right?" He asked dryly.

Her shoulders trembled and she lifted her other hand to her face, dropping her head and shaking.

"F-F-Fine." She choked out, along with a weird, sputtering noise.

Giving a long-suffering sigh, he closed the door of the Gummi and walked around toward her, unable to discern what was going on since her hair had fallen in a curtain, shielding her face. He was about to ask again what was going on when she let loose an explosive noise like a gasp and a cry at the same time.

Losing herself to the laughter, Tifa doubled over, holding her sides and leaning against the Gummi as the giggles practically took over her body.

Thoroughly confused, Leon stared at her in bewilderment.

"I'm sor-sor-I'm sor-ry." Tifa gasped, snorting loudly. This only caused her to laugh harder.

"What could possibly be that funny?" He asked flatly.

Tears were leaking out of her eyes as she nearly fell over laughing.

"I c—The oth—With the big—You tried—But then it—"

She was too far gone to even speak.

Lips flat, he just lifted an eyebrow until the giggles subsided. Tifa wiped her eyes and looked at him, catching her breath and offering a shit-eating grin.

"How could you NOT think that was funny?" She choked, shoulders jumping with the chuckles.

Leon's face was deadpan. "I'm laughing on the inside."

Tifa blinked, her face crinkled, and she roared laughing again, this time really going down to the floor. Rolling his eyes, Leon turned and walked out of the hangar.

"Like a friggin' two year old." He murmured.

"Why is Tifa being weird?" One of the hangar regulars asked.

"She's a woman. Who knows." Leon shook his head, leaving.

It was a perfectly good explanation to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Much love to the few but awesome reviewers! You all get super-special awesome potato casserole!**

**..:--X--:..**

**010 - Cowgirl **

Leon plucked up one of the pictures that Tifa was trying to organize on her desk. She looked up and her eyes widened.

"No, not that one!" She reached forward.

Leon looked at her and moved his hand out of reach, "What's this one?"

"Just—give it back!" She leaned forward, trying to reach.

He just leaned farther away. "You look embarrassed. Is it that bad?"

"This isn't funny. Give it back!" She said, her face heating up.

She cursed herself for bringing the box of old pictures to work. Reminiscing never led to anything good, and Leon had that even look that said he was enjoying this torture too much. She stood from her desk and moved around to physically take back the picture.

Leon spun the chair away from her. "What is this…You wore this in PUBLIC?"

"Give it—stop—" Damn his longer arms!

"Oh, and it comes with a hat." Leon stood, keeping the chair between them as a barrier.

To Hell with that. Tifa put one foot in the chair and used it to catapult herself, landing square on his back and ramming her elbow into his shoulder. The involuntary recoil shuddered down his arm and she clawed at his hand to take the picture back.

"Get off me." Leon grunted, switching the picture to his other hand and holding it aloft, out of her reach.

"Give it back, you jerk!"

He leaned backwards to try and deposit her on the desk, but she clung on, practically climbing up his back to reach his hand where the picture was.

"I was sixteen!"

"No reason to dress like a slut."

Tifa smacked him across the back of the head. He staggered as she moved and she grunted, bracing one foot on the edge of her desk and stretching for his hand.

The door to her office opened.

Both of them froze: Leon, nearly doubled over, holding the picture out, and Tifa, latched onto his back, reaching for the photo with one foot on her desk.

King Mickey sighed and looked back to the teenagers touring for the internship position. "And this is Brigadier General Lockhart and Major General Leonhart…your superiors."

The hopeful interns' eyes were wide and confused. Tifa took Leon's moment of distraction to stretch those precious inches and snatch the picture back, toppling back onto her desk and pumping her fist in victory.

"Yeah! What now, bitch?" She bellowed triumphantly at Leon.

For his part, Leon straightened and shook his head at her. From the doorway, Mickey sighed and gestured toward the hall.

"Let's move on, kids." He closed the door behind the tour.

**..:--X--:..**

**011 - Stuck**

Tifa fanned herself with the newspaper, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall of the elevator that hadn't moved in well over an hour. The woman next to her was quiet. It was good to see she'd stopped freaking out and nearly hyperventilating.

Looking down at her fingers, she saw that the ink from the paper had bled all over her hand, smearing her fingers inky and black. With a sigh, she pushed her hair from her eyes and looked over to Leon, who was still disemboweling the wires and controls inside the elevator walls. At least he was distracted from the stuffy heat by something.

"How's it going, MacGyver?" She asked, checking and finding no signal once again on her phone.

Leon just grunted something unintelligible at her and kept working. Clearing her throat, she looked to the woman again. She looked about five or six months pregnant and also looked extremely claustrophobic. Tifa wasn't typically claustrophobic, but even she was feeling uncomfortable in this small space with Leon and his less than bubbly personality.

Still, it could be worse…

"You're not going to go into labor are you?" Tifa asked flatly.

The woman looked at her in alarm. "N-no."

"Good," Tifa reclined her head against the cool wall of the elevator. "Because that would be awkward."

**..:--X--:..**

**012 - Migraine**

All of the lights were turned off and the curtains were all drawn. It was completely dark and completely silent when Tifa abruptly walked into Leon's office. She drew up short, the door swinging after her, and spotted Leon, arms folded, face lost in his forearms as he hunched over his desk.

Perplexed, Tifa glanced around looking for the culprit when the door slammed closed after her and Leon positively flinched. His shoulders tensed and drew closer together and his fingers tightened around his arms.

Momentarily forgetting why she'd come into his office, Tifa set the files on the edge of his desk and noted that the computer screen was turned off as well. Leon didn't look up or give any acknowledgement that she was there, keeping his head cradled over his arms.

Looked like a migraine.

The phone rang shrilly and she swiftly snatched it up, but not before a whimper was stifled through his arms.

"Major General's office." Tifa answered as quietly as she could.

"…Um, I've got some documents for the Major General to sign." McCallister said timidly on the other end of the line.

"Leave them in my office. I'll take care of them." Tifa said, placing the phone back in the cradle noiselessly.

"Thanks." Leon said, sounding muffled.

Tifa looked around the dark office. "Taken anything?"

He made a negative noise and she sighed, shaking her head, and went to get some aspirin. She closed the door quietly after herself and went to her office to dig out her personal stash of headache fighters. Stubborn ass, she tutted, finding the aspirin.

**..:--X--:..**

**A/N 010**: The picture is some variation of what Tifa wore in Crisis Core.

**A/N 011**: I wanted to poke fun at the overused cliché of the pregnant lady having a baby in the broken elevator. Though it would certainly be entertaining to write for that situation…Snark, snark.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties continue to be mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Glad you guys are enjoying these!**

**..:--X--:..**

**013 – Hero's Welcome**

The building was going to collapse any minute, the fire roaring like demon eyes out of the upper windows. The warehouse had been mostly abandoned, save for the night watch crew. Four out of five of the men were accounted for. A few others had gone inside to try and get that last guy out.

"Let go!" Tifa thrashed against one of the firefighters holding her back, "There're still people in there, dammit. Do your job!"

The building groaned as the fire ate away at the skeleton of it. The lean-to shed collapsed in a plume of black smoke that was a mass of darkness in the otherwise starry night sky. In addition to firefighters, some amateur sorcerers were tossing water spells at the inferno, to little effect.

Even at a safe distance, the heat and the light of the fire were making Tifa's eyes burn, but she distinctly saw three figures stagger out of the building. One was running. The other was supporting the third figure, who was barely staying on his feet.

The three men just cleared the building when the rest of the interior structure collapsed, causing the warehouse to buckle and implode on itself. Fire whooshed out in all directions, dying in the cool night air. Tifa violently threw the grips off her arms and ran forward with the paramedics and other rescue workers.

The first man was coughing violently from the smoke, his right arm burnt and smoke rising from his shoulders. Seeing a medic attending to him, Tifa went to the other two. They were both sooty and singed, but Leon kept the third man upright, though the guy looked on the verge of unconsciousness.

Leon handed the guy off to two paramedics before promptly hitting his knees as the smoke inhalation finally got to him. Tifa shouldered past the firefighters who were working to stabilize the fire and dropped beside him.

"Hey, hey, hey." She sputtered in a panic, glancing around, "I need some oxygen over here!"

"M'fine." Leon choked out, leaning forward on his hands and clearing his throat repeatedly.

A medic out of nowhere produced an oxygen mask and Tifa took it without a word, turning and quickly glancing Leon over. No serious burns or anything that she could see.

"Here." She held out the mask.

Leon coughed again, breathing shakily. "No, I don't need—"

"Just shut up and take it." She ordered.

He gave as deadpan a look as he could muster and took the mask, holding it over the lower half of his face and closing his eyes at the sweet oxygen it offered. Biting the side of her lip, Tifa looked around at the others being aided by paramedics. Burns and blood and broken bones all around.

"You are one lucky bastard. Running back in there, what were you thinking?" She snapped at Leon, whose reproachful glare fell short of effective. Shaking her head, she gave his shoulder a light slap. "Moron."

**..:--X--:..**

**014 – Vader's Revenge**

_Kawwwwg._

What the—

_Kawwwwg-kew._

Leon looked up from the cleaning material he was working through the barrels of the Gunblade.

_Kawwwg-kuh._

The intrusive, nasally sound started up out of nowhere. It was the kind of sound that grated on the nerves and made eyes twitch in reaction. Like nails down a chalkboard. Narrowing his eyes in annoyance, he stood and wandered out into the living room, looking around.

Nothing looked out of place, except for Tifa, sprawled across that ugly couch, limbs akimbo, mouth open, snoring like Darth Vader.

_Kawwwg-kew._

Repressing a grimace, he reached down and smacked her shoe, hoping to wake her up just enough to stop the horrid noise. No dice. She just snorted in her sleep and shifted.

_Kawwg-kuh._

Straightening, Leon looked around helplessly. Outright waking her up was a big mistake: he'd learned that fact very quickly. His eyes fell on a black marker resting on the coffee table. He tilted his head and picked it up, twirling it once through his fingers and looking at Tifa's face.

He'd pay for it later, but if one made that kind of god-awful noise when one slept, she was just asking for it. He popped the lid off the marker.

**..:--X--:..**

**015 – Light Show**

Duke looked like she was having a spaz attack.

Tifa looked up briefly as the red-gold retriever darted here, then there, then back, and barked before jumping back across the floor.

Five minutes earlier, the dog had been calmly curled up under the coffee table. Now it looked like she was trying to follow something under the wood floor.

She looked over and saw Leon watching the dog have a conniption fit as well. She was about to voice a question, but then she saw the laser pointer in his hand, shifting back and forth. Sure enough, she saw the red dot dancing around on the floor, and Duke helplessly trying to catch it.

Tifa set her pen down and both humans just watched the show in amusement.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. I promise not all of these are going to be funny and goofy. I've got a few more serious ones in the works…but not in this chapter. Tee hee.**

**..:--X--:..**

**016 – Cable Guy**

"Move it a little more to the left." Tifa said from the living room.

Out on the fire escape, Leon groaned. "If I go any more left, I'll land in the middle of the street."

"Then…move it to the right." Tifa waved her arm as if that would help.

The television screen displayed only static and that harsh sizzling noise. If there were any less signal on this television, it would have been dead. Antennae hadn't worked, giving Duke an aluminum foil tail hadn't worked, but according to the cable company, they should be getting crystal clear reception.

So they were making their own reception.

The screen flashed into some semblance of a visual before immediately fuzzing back into nonsense.

"You're…you're making it worse!" Tifa walked over and looked out the window.

Roughly one flight higher up on the fire escape, Leon glared daggers at her. "Well, why don't YOU dangle off the building and try to hook this up and I'LL sit in the room staring at the screen!"

"Because my rock crushed your scissors, now move it to the left!" She ducked back into the apartment.

Static just blared at her from the television box.

So much for catching the game this afternoon. Oh well, this was more entertaining anyway.

**..:--X--:..**

**017 – Prank War 1**

Leon casually walked into Tifa's office, leaning against the doorway, the face of nonchalance.

Tifa looked up, eyes cold and a vein sticking out of her neck. "You are so dead."

"What?" He feigned innocence…he'd never been good at that. "You look upset."

"When I get out of this—" She snarled.

Leon fought to repress a smirk, allowing only one corner of his mouth to turn up slightly. "This is just payback for setting my alarm clock to go off at four a.m. to the sound of the firing squad."

Tifa glared furiously, but didn't stand up from her chair…well, couldn't was the operative word, seeing as Leon had layered copious amounts of glue to the seat of it.

"You son of a…" She snarled. "You better watch your back!"

"Yeah, yeah." He turned and walked out of her office.

"I will end you!" She yelled after him.

"Yeah, yeah."

(…to be continued…)

**..:--X--:..**

**018 - Rumors**

"Well, you don't exactly give off a just-friends vibe."

"McCallister."

"I don't mean to overstep my bounds—"

"Well you are."

"But seriously, you two are like—"

Leon stopped and turned to face McCallister squarely, eyes narrowed. "Like what?"

McCallister's jaw glued itself shut.

Leon folded his arms. "No, come on. Five seconds ago you wouldn't shut up…What are Tifa and I like?"

The private's eyes dropped to her boots, "I apologize, sir."

Leon rolled his eyes and turned to walk away.

"But…but you gotta admit it LOOKS suspicious!" She chirped.

Before he could lock his gaze o'doom on her again, McCallister lifted her hands.

"Speaking from a purely outside view, sir. You and Brigadier General Lockhart spend an awful lot of time together. The public might find it…odd."

"We work together, McCallister. It's hard to work together when you aren't in the same place." Leon replied flatly.

"Yeah, but…but even going on missions together. It's dangerous for two high priority leaders—"

"I don't trust anybody else. Neither does she." He snapped, walking on.

McCallister trailed after him, "And the living together part?"

"Practical purposes."

"But what about—"

"Private McCallister." Leon said, nerves fraying.

She fell quiet behind him and he turned around to face her again.

"I don't give a rat's ass what the public opinion is. It's none of their damn business. And for the record, we are just friends." Leon blurted, tongue loose from the pent up frustration. "Whoever is voicing these opinions to you needs to get their heads out of the damn soap operas."

Making a noise of pure annoyance, he marched into his office, slamming the door behind him.

"Bit of an ass, right?" Tifa walked down the hallway, thumbing through a file. "What were you two talking about that got him so riled up?"

McCallister opened and closed her mouth a few times before shrugging, "Nothing apparently."

"Huh, must be the Man Time of the Month." Tifa snorted, going into her office.

Thoroughly perplexed, the private hung her head and sighed in defeat, going back to the main work area. _Why did I even open my stupid mouth?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Bustin' into some more serious prompts, but nothing too heavy, and humor still abounds, I hope. Enjoy these humble offerings!**

**..:--X--:..**

**019 - Nightmare**

"Nhn…No…Mnuh…No…"

Sleep disappeared as though a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him. Leon's eyes flew open and he found himself staring at the ceiling, chest heaving, cold sweat pooling over his neck. For a moment, the horror remained, chilling his blood and making his heart throb in his ears.

As awareness cleared the clouds, however, he caught his breath and got it back under control, sitting up in bed and running a sweaty hand over his equally sweaty forehead. Bewildered at how much the subconscious image had shaken him, he got up and walked out into the living room of the apartment.

It was the middle of the night, the lights were all off, and the blinds were all drawn. A quick glance showed Tifa's room was empty. She'd mentioned something about staying at the station for an all nighter. Sighing heavily but unable to loosen the knot in his gut, he snatched up his phone and was dialing her cell phone before his thoughts could catch up.

He pressed 'Call' and then stopped.

This was stupid. What the Hell was he going to say? 'Hey, sorry about this random-ass call, but I had this weird dream and wanted to make sure you were okay, because in the dream you were murd—'

He hung up after one absent ring and tossed the phone on the couch, going back into his room and falling back into bed. Damn nightmares.

**..:--X--:..**

**020 - Concussion**

It felt like somebody was beating her skull with a sledgehammer every time her heart beat.

"You awake?" Leon asked.

Tifa cringed and burrowed deeper into her pillow. "No, g'way."

"It's been two hours. Concussion check."

She opened one eye just wide enough to see Leon standing in the doorway, Duke blocked from her bedroom by his legs. The light hurt her sensitive eyes and she winced, closing them again.

"There, I'm alive, you did your job. Now leave me alone."

He made an amused noise and his boots marched up to the side of her bed, "Name."

"Tifa Lockhart, aka your future cause of death."

She heard him take a step back…just in case.

"How many fingers?"

With a long suffering groan, she opened her eyes again just long enough to see his hand.

"Three."

Duke barked and Tifa whimpered as the sound sent fresh rods of pain through the base of her skull and ballooning over to her temples.

"Ah, hey, no." Leon was saying.

She opened one eye again and saw Leon holding Duke by the collar, thwarting the canine's attempt to jump up on the bed with Tifa. He pulled her to the door and closed it, blocking her out.

"Count to ten." He said.

"I hate you." She grumbled, but did as he asked.

"All right, you check out again." He said.

"How many more of these torture sessions do I have to suffer through before you leave me alone?"

"Three more before you're out of the 24-hour danger window." He replied. "Need anything?"

She looked at him narrowly, "I only want one thing right now."

He obviously sensed a trap but took the bait. "And that is?"

"For you to get OUT of my ROOM." She snarled.

He started to look amused, then saw her expression and lifted his hands, "All right, I'm going."

Tifa dropped her head back onto the pillow and closed her eyes against the pounding in her skull as Leon made a hasty getaway. Damn concussions.

**..:--X--:..**

**021 - Resuscitate**

"Leon…" Tifa lifted a hand, but refrained from touching his shoulder. "Leon, stop."

McCallister looked up, her fingers pressed against the casualty's neck. She shook her head. Tifa bit her lip and looked from McCallister to Leon, who had kept up compressions on the civilian's chest for over ten minutes now.

"Stop." Tifa knelt down beside him, "It's too late…You can't—Leon, stop it—He's gone—"

"No, I can…" He trailed off, continuing to push on the unresponsive chest.

At a momentary loss, Tifa glanced around the otherwise deserted Bailey. McCallister withdrew her hand from the civilian's neck, looking to Tifa for direction.

"Call it in." Tifa sputtered after a moment, "Get an ambulance down here to transport him…I'm…I'm calling the TOD."

"Don't." Leon practically hissed.

"He's dead." Tifa tried to break through to him, "His spinal column is shredded. There's no coming back from that."

Leon looked like he was beyond himself at this point and Tifa swallowed before reaching over and grasping his wrists.

"Stop." She pleaded.

He recoiled as though he'd been shocked, jumping to his feet and backing away from the body.

"Dammit." He growled, turning and walking a few paces away.

McCallister looked alarmed and Tifa raised a hand, "Leave him alone. Just call the ambulance again." She checked her watch, "I'm calling Time of Death at 8:45 a.m."

"Yes, ma'am." McCallister nodded, staying with the body and calling the medical unit on her cell phone.

Tifa ran a hand through her hair as she stood and looked over to Leon, who had his back stubbornly turned and his head lowered. Drawing a composing breath, she approached him steadily.

"You can't save everybody." She said gently.

She heard him exhale sharply.

"I know, but lately it feels like I can't save anybody." He growled, voice quivering at the end of the statement.

Standing within arms' reach of his back, she lifted her hand again, but hesitated and then dropped it back to her side. They both just stood there like that for a moment.

A beat passed.

He started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" She asked, concerned at his emotional state.

"A walk. Clear my head." He threw over his shoulder, not looking back at her directly.

She didn't follow and he turned the corner, disappearing from view.

"Be careful." She murmured, and then went back to wait by the body with McCallister.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. On a random note, I've developed a mild Brad Paisley addiction. That is all. Enjoy!**

**..:--X--:..**

**022 – Idol Curiosity**

"Go on, ask."

"I'm not asking. You ask."

"Chicken."

"I am not!"

Tifa looked up from where she had spread the map of the Borough on the Bailey floor. The two little boys couldn't have been older than ten, squatting behind the broken stair wall and peering down into the Borough, where most of the clutter from the recent Heartless attack had been shucked. Busted concrete, twisted bits of steel, and splintered wood: it was a mess.

None of that disaster was what was keeping the boys' attention though. Standing and dusting off her knees, Tifa sidled up to stand behind the two boys, hands on her hips, looking down over their heads. Leon had been down there for two hours and barely managed to clear himself a walkway through the mess.

"I heard," One of the boys was whispering as they stared down at the man. "that it shoots flames instead of bullets."

"That's dumb. I saw it once; it has chambers in it."

"What? You never saw it!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh huh!"

Leon must have heard them and looked up. The boys gasped and ducked below the wall. Tifa snorted and Leon gave their general direction a flat look, getting back to work.

"It's impolite to stare, you know." Tifa said, unable to hide a grin.

The two boys stayed on their knees, looking up at her. "Sorry, ma'am." They sputtered.

Tifa glanced around, "This area is still unstable. Children shouldn't be running around here."

"Sorry, ma'am." They repeated.

Amused, she tilted her head, "He's not really THAT interesting, you know."

They looked at her like she'd smacked them in the face.

"Blasphemy!" One of them gasped.

"Are you kidding?" The second one gushed. "Who else do you know who fights with a gun and sword in one?"

"Does it really shoot flames?"

"Yeah, flames or bullets?"

Tifa looked down at their wide-eyed expressions, waiting for some epic detail about their hero. She didn't have it in her to tell them it didn't shoot anything, that the 'trigger' only instigated vibrations through the blade. Dealt more damage that way than with bullets or flames…but to a little kid, there was nothing cool about a sword that vibrated.

"Neither." She said, then added. "It's something better."

Their eyes grew even wider.

"Now…scuttle on, savages," Tifa waved them off, "Adults have work to do."

"Yes, ma'am." They turned and started back toward the residential district to make their mischief, though their conversation carried.

"Told ya it wasn't flames."

"Well, then what else could it shoot?"

"I dunno, but I bet he could knock your head right off! One swing! Boom!"

"No he wouldn't!"

**..:--X--:..**

**023 – Wishful Thinking**

"McCallister, what are you doing?" Tifa asked.

The private started slightly at being addressed, her hands dropping the object under her desk. "Brigadier General, I—"

Tifa walked over and bent down, snatching up the folded up piece of paper: an origami paper crane. Leon had told her about the private's bizarre hobby about folding cranes, but she'd never actually caught her in the act.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm supposed to finish those reports—got distracted—" McCallister yammered.

"Which one is this?" Tifa pulled the end to make the wings rise and fall.

"Sorry?"

"How many does this one make?" Tifa asked, happy for the distraction from paperwork.

"Er…267, ma'am."

"Two sixty…You've made 267 of these?" Tifa blinked, "What in Kingdom Hearts for?"

McCallister reached out and took the crane back, cheeks warming as she dropped it into one of her desk drawers. "…It's stupid…"

"The thousand cranes wish trick, right?" Tifa folded her arms, a habit of Leon's that was starting to rub off on her. Realizing this, she unfolded them and opted for shoving her hands in her pockets.

"I…I know it's not real…there's no real magic to it." McCallister sputtered. "It's just a hobby…a stupid…wishful hobby." She averted her eyes in embarrassment.

"Nothing wrong with that. We all have wishes that need granting." Tifa shrugged.

McCallister gave her a weird look that she couldn't read…but it made her uncomfortable.

"…What do you wish for?" The private asked.

Tifa pursed her lips and went back to official mode, "Get back to those reports."

"Yes, ma'am…Sorry, ma'am." McCallister scattered.

**..:--X--:..**

**024 – Explode**

That little vein in Tifa's temple was sticking out. Leon was just beginning to wonder how much more of this she would be able to take when she stood up abruptly.

"That's it. I can't take this anymore." She barked, stomping across the room and out of the apartment and into the hallway.

Leon watched the open door idly, listening to her stomp a few paces down the hall and knock on the door of their neighbors…their neighbors who, for the past twenty minutes, had been indulging in loud rap music that failed to completely cover the sound of them…procreating.

The music dropped a few notches and he heard the door open.

"Yes?" A breathless woman was asking.

"I've had it!" Tifa screamed. "If I have to listen to you two humping like water buffalo every time I come home—"

Leon tuned out the rest of the rant and got back to what he'd been working on, occasionally hearing her shout some made up word that seemed to encompass what known swear words couldn't articulate. Tifa could be quite…eloquent…when she was pissed off…and frightening too, if he was being honest.

**..:--X--:..**

**A/N 023**: Old Japanese legend that after folding 1000 origami paper cranes, the individual is granted one wish.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. More humor, enjoy!**

**..:--X--:..**

**025 – Prank War 2**

"_I'm a Barbie Girl! In a Barbie Wooorld! Life in plastic…It's fantastic!_"

The annoying song started so suddenly that half of the board members jumped in their seats. The meeting had barely been going on for fifteen minutes when the blaring music started.

"_You can brush my hair! Undress my everywheeere_…"

Leon went rigid when he realized where it was coming from…his cell phone.

He snatched at his belt and practically ripped the phone out of his pocket, the caller ID flashing at him merrily to the tune.

"_Imagination, life is your crea_—"

The other people in the meeting exchanged high brow looks as Leon answered the phone, expression flat and unreadable.

Tifa's voice was sickly sweet on the other end. "How do you like your new ringtone?"

Of course this was her doing, Leon inwardly sighed. Turned out gluing someone to their seat didn't come without repercussions.

"That was weak." Leon replied and promptly hung up. Oh, it was ON now.

One of the older Council members chuckled, "Troubles with the ladies?"

Leon absently turned his phone to silent. "Something like that."

And without another word about it, they got back to the meeting at hand.

(…to be continued…)

**..:--X--:..**

**026 - Skill**

The microwave went off with a happy _ding! _and Tifa popped open the door of the machine, taking out her instant-lasagna…well, it was supposed to be. It looked more like a tray of blackened magma.

She grimaced and dropped the ruined platter in the trash. "Another one bites the dust."

"How does one ruin a box dinner?" Leon teased lightly, his back to her as he dug through one of the cabinets in the kitchen.

"It said four minutes! I did four minutes, and it was black." Tifa snapped back.

"Two minutes." Leon replied.

"What?" Tifa looked at him.

Leon had lifted up the box of the lasagna. "It says two minutes."

"No, it—" Tifa snatched it from him, reading the directions. "It says two—I could have sworn it said four!"

"So you can't cook and you can't read. It's a good thing you're pretty." Leon snarked, opening a drawer and taking out some random gadget Tifa couldn't even name.

She smacked him with the box before throwing it away. "Shut up. I'm ordering pizza."

One step. Pause. Sniff. Turn.

"What is that?" She looked back at him.

"Well, most people call it an oven…"

"No, I mean…I thought it was broken."

"Did you ever try using it?"

"…No."

Leon flashed her an infuriatingly smug look, popping open the door of the oven and sliding the dish inside. Closing it again, he turned to see her looking at him in bewilderment.

"You can cook?" She asked flatly.

"Well…yeah." He shrugged.

"You never told me you could cook."

"You never asked."

Tifa narrowed her eyes, leaning against the counter. "What are you making?"

"Something edible. You wouldn't know anything about that." He started putting away the materials he'd been using. "I thought you were ordering out?"

Tifa pursed her lips. "No, this I have to get to the bottom of. If a man cooks better than me…"

"Tifa, a bear cooks better than you."

"…Shut up."

**..:--X--:..**

**027 - Malfunction**

"This is just ridiculous." Tifa grumbled aloud, pulling a towel about herself as she walked out of her bathroom.

Halfway through the shower, the water just stops. If this was someone's idea of a sick joke, she was going to kick them so hard that they would find their kidneys where their lungs should be. Now, soaking wet, half of her skull still lathered up with shampoo, she moved across her room and opened the door just a sliver, looking out into the apartment.

"Leon?" She prompted.

A grunt in response from the living room.

"Something's wrong with the water."

"What is it?"

"It stopped."

Some noise that was either a sigh or a chuckle. With Leon it was hard to tell. He leaned forward in his seat and saw her hiding behind her room door, hair plastered to her skull and towel in place. His eyes widened slightly and then he immediately looked away. She exhaled in frustration and kept the door only two inches open, enough for her to look through.

"Oh, and you were—"

"—in the middle of something." Tifa finished for him.

"I'll call the desk and see what's wrong." He picked up the phone.

"Thank you." She said, exasperated. "And Leon?"

"Hm." He said, not looking at her.

"We don't speak of this." She warned.

The tiniest of smirks touched his lips. "Deal."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. I also don't own the song **_**I Won't Say I'm in Love**_** from the movie Disney's Hercules, which is the basis for 030. For maximum effect, though, I do suggest listening to the song while reading it…It reads easier that way, I think. Enjoy!**

**..:--X--:..**

**028 – The Same Brainwave**

Leon had been turning his office inside out for the past hour: Tifa derived from the shuffling and cluttering noises coming from across the hall. She knew what he was looking for; she just wanted to see how long it would take for him to realize she had the reconstruction report in her office.

After another few minutes, Leon walked in, turned in a few slow circles as he scoped out her office, and finally looked at her.

Without looking up from her desk, Tifa lifted the file in the manila folder. He sighed, took it, and walked back out, stopping at the doorway and looking back. She looked up at him, knowing what he was going to ask, and narrowed her eyes in answer.

Leon pursed his lips, shrugged, and held up the folder in thanks, leaving and closing the door after himself with not a word exchanged.

As the door closed, Tifa sighed and shook her head, getting back to work.

**..:--X--:..**

**029 – Anniversary**

It wasn't lost on either of them that it was the anniversary. One year since the Fractured Circle had leveled the Allied Headquarters in Radiant Garden. One year since almost all of their friends had been killed and Sora had been sent on a downward spiral of obsession and revenge.

There was no time to sit and dwell and reminisce, however. Work still needed to done. Reports still needed to be filed. The world needed to keep turning. Like every other day.

They didn't need nor want to talk about it. Neither of them needed reminding on what today was.

**..:--X--:..**

**030 – Out Loud**

Tifa sighed and looked up at the starry night sky. Oh boy, if there was a prize for rotten judgment…she had already won that. She looked sideways and saw the three pixies, Yuna, Rikku, and Paine, hovering at the edge of the Bailey, chattering amongst themselves.

Glancing away, she wondered how she got herself into these kinds of situations. It never ended well, only badly, ugly, and sometimes dead. What was wrong with her? You'd think a girl would learn…

"No man is worth the aggravation." She shook her head.

Stopping, she saw the three pixies right beside her and jumped slightly. They looked highly interested in whatever she'd been talking about…crap, she'd been talking out loud again.

"That's ancient history." She told them with finality. "Been there, done that."

She turned away, but they followed her.

"Who you think you're kidding?" Rikku chirped.

"He's the Earth and heaven to you!" Yuna fawned.

"Try to keep it hidden; honey, we can see right through you." Paine mumbled.

"Oh no." Tifa waved them away, far from in the mood to talk about this.

"Girl, you can't conceal it." Yuna remarked.

"We know how you feel and who you're thinking of." Rikku chimed in.

Tifa saw where they were going with this and lifted her hands in a negative motion. "No chance. No way. I won't say it. No…no." She repeated for emphasis.

"You swoon, you sigh." Rikku mimicked fainting into Yuna's arms.

"Why deny it?" Yuna said, catching her friend.

"It's too cliché." Tifa turned her back on them, walking up the Bailey stairs. "I won't say I'm in love." She said firmly.

The pixies exchanged confused looks and then flew after her, demanding an explanation.

"I thought my heart had learned its lesson." Tifa expounded. "It feels so good when you start out."

She looked out at the Great Maw, grimacing at the memories. "My head is screaming 'get a grip, girl, unless you're dying to cry your heart out.' "

"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling." Paine remarked. "Baby, we're not buying."

"Hon, we saw it you hit the ceiling." Rikku chirped.

"Oh no." Tifa said, didn't like where this was going.

Yuna beamed, "Face it like a grown-up, when you gonna own up that you got—"

"Got." Paine commented.

"Got it bad!" Rikku finished.

"No chance. No way. I won't say it." Tifa refused, walking toward the edge of the Bailey toward the Borough. "No, no." She affirmed.

"Give up or give in." Paine stated.

"Check the grin: you're in love!" Yuna smiled.

Their words bounced around in her head and Tifa closed her eyes, "This scene won't play. I won't say I'm in love." She walked down the steps into the Borough.

"You're doing flips. Read our lips." Rikku giggled.

"You're in love!" Yuna giggled too.

"You're way off base. I won't say it." She glanced back and saw the three pixies hounding after her. "Get off my case! I won't say it."

Paine sighed, "Girl, don't be proud."

"It's okay, you're in love." Rikku clapped her hands.

Tifa spotted him across the Borough and quickly ducked behind the wall, giving a long suffering sigh. "Oh…at least out loud…I won't say I'm in…love." She dropped her head in defeat, unable to hide the smallest of smiles despite the absurdity of it all.

The pixies exchanged knowing looks and burst out laughing in satisfaction.

**..:--X--:..**

**A/N 029**: This one came out to exactly 100 words, the correct definition of a 'drabble'. I'm quite proud of myself for that.

**A/N 030**: (snort, chuckle) I had too much fun writing this one. It was the cornerstone idea that got me wanting to write these ditties. I listened to that song almost 5 times while writing it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. All of the awesome reviewers who've been reading this and have provided such lovely feedback deserve super special awesome potato casserole!**

**..:--X--:..**

**031 – Fetch**

McCallister told her that Leon had left over two hours ago and not come back. Tifa was far from worried about that: Leon was a big boy. He didn't need anybody holding his hand anywhere. But it was an excuse to get out of that stuffy building, so she took up the charge of hunting him down.

She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting to find, but this was not it.

Leon was sitting on the hill in the makeshift park overlooking the less-massacred districts of Radiant Garden. Just…sitting there in the grass, lost in his thoughts…a dangerous place to be.

"You never struck me as a sit-and-ponder person." She greeted, walking up behind him.

He didn't turn around, just looked down the hill. "Idiot tolerance ran out."

"And it's barely noon." She snickered, sinking onto the grass beside him.

She was about to ask what he was doing if not sitting and pondering, when Duke tore up the side of the hill, clump of mangled wood in her mouth. The dog nearly ran over Leon in her haste to get the stick to him, dropping the item practically in his lap, tail wagging so hard it shook her entire spine.

Tifa couldn't hold in a laugh. "You never struck me as a guy who plays fetch either."

Leon absently picked up the gnarled stick and reeled back slightly, throwing it back down the hill. Duke barked and ran after it euphorically, chasing that sucker down.

"She's been stuck in the apartment for three days. Needed some fresh air." He replied.

Tifa sat back on her hands, crossing one leg casually. "What're you throwing?"

"Wooden golfing trophy from Nestor's office." Leon answered shamelessly. "Little bastard was an ass yesterday."

Tifa snorted, "More so than usual?"

He just grunted as Duke reached him again, this time fighting him as he tried to take the stick of wood that used to be a trophy from her mouth. He finally wrestled it free and Duke keened, bouncing back a few feet and sticking her hind end in the air in anticipation.

"Can I?" Tifa requested, "I need to throw something before I start throwing punches too."

Leon wordlessly handed the mangled trophy to her. She took it and threw it hard down the hill, into the trees. Duke's eyes followed it like they were attached to the wood, and she ran after it.

Oddly, Tifa felt better now.

**..:--X--:..**

**032 – Outdoor People**

High of 95 Fahrenheit. Eighty percent humidity. Winds up to 30 miles per hour. Sun beating down like it had nothing better to do.

Oh, it was glorious.

Tifa wiped sweat from her forehead as soon as the last of the cracked wall collapsed. It had been damaged beyond repair by the latest Heartless attack. The walls surrounding the Castle Gates had to be broken down and reconstructed from scratch. It was difficult, it was taxing, and it was grueling.

Yep, still glorious.

After she'd lost track of how long she'd been stuck in that damn office, filing reports and signing dotted lines, a little manual labor and elbow grease were gifts from the gods.

Her team continued to cart off the busted concrete and stones, the sound of sledgehammers and jackhammers making a downright delightful cacophony around her. She had another two days of demolition before Leon and his reconstruction team came in to start…well, reconstruction.

Enjoying the ache setting into her arms, she unscrewed a bottle of water and took a drink from it, looking up at the old castle entrance just in time to catch Leon immediately looking away, toward the broader work team. Tifa grinned, shamelessly watching him until he dared to look at her again. She was in too good a mood to be put off by his…Leon-ness.

When he finally caved and looked at her again, almost like for a reprimand, she smiled and waved. He tilted his head slightly as if to say: seriously, how old are you?

She just chuckled and finished off her water, getting back to busting concrete.

Absolutely glorious.

**..:--X--:..**

**033 - Hangover**

Duke was wearing a sweater.

Wait…what?

Leon blinked, waking up completely. He'd barely been conscious for two minutes, sprawled face down on the couch, and all he could see from that angle was Duke, wearing Tifa's green sweater as she ate something out of the pizza box on the floor.

He started to sit up but pain shot in ramrods through his skull, rolling down his spine and making his stomach double back on itself. With a groan, he slowed his motions, pushing himself upright on the couch and looking around slowly.

The apartment looked like a bomb had gone off. There was a duct tape Stop sign on the wall. Three DVD cases of Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants were on the coffee table, and three bottles of tequila were stacked in a simple pyramid on the kitchen counter. The sight of them made his nausea worsen.

Dragging himself to his feet, he walked gingerly into his bathroom and splashed water on his face. Lipstick was written on the mirror with the message: NOT THE BLUE ONE. Whatever that meant. Drying off his face, he grabbed the wall to stop the floor from tilting as he made his way back into the living room. Looking at his hand, he realized his index to pinkie fingertips were labeled numbers one through four in black ink and there was a star drawn on his thumb.

Two pirate swords were sticking out of the recliner and a marble bust of Mickey Mouse was on the kitchen table. It was wearing a plastic glasses-and-mustache disguise. Confused, he limped into the kitchen, and nearly stepped on Tifa.

"Argh." She groaned, having either fallen asleep or passed out on the tile floor. Her eye patch had fallen down over her cheek.

"Are you okay?" He asked, still groggy himself.

"Ah, stop yelling at me." She winced, rubbing her eyes and looking up at him. "Why am I on the floor?"

"Why aren't you wearing pants?" He replied.

She looked down at herself, clad in only an overlarge T-shirt. "Oh…fuck…" She moaned, slowly getting up off the floor. "Were we robbed?"

"Only if we robbed ourselves." He said, waving Duke away from the pizza box.

The pizza, he noticed, had all the crust removed, leaving only the pizza part of it.

"I've got an idea." Tifa climbed laboriously to her feet, leaning heavily on the counter. "How about we don't drink anymore?"

Leon cradled his head in his hands, looking at her and hardly able to focus. "Never again."

Tifa looked positively nauseas as she looked around the partied-out apartment. Then her eyes lingered on the Mickey Mouse bust.

"When did we get that?"

Leon groaned and sank back onto the couch.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. I think this chapter reads like a mild schizophrenic attack...oh well...Enjoy anyway!**

**..:--X--:..**

**034 – Cabin Fever**

"THAT's what this is about?" Leon gaped.

Tifa hunched her shoulders like an attack dog. "What did you THINK it was about?"

"I don't know. Dammit, no wonder you were so off today—"

"Off? I was OFF?" She snarled.

"Why are you pissed at me?"

"Because you always jam the door!"

"What? That has nothing to do with—"

"And, seriously? Five a.m. EVERY morning with the alarm?"

"Oh please, I am easier to live with than you."

"Me? What is wrong with—"

"This couch!" Leon smacked the back of the furniture.

"What about it?"

"I HATE this couch!"

"Well, it hates you too!"

"That doesn't even make sense." Leon made a frustrated arm motion.

"It would if you weren't stupid!" Tifa stomped into her room.

"So that's it: yell and slam doors?" Leon said.

Tifa slammed the door extra hard.

"Fine." He said, irritated beyond belief at her random-ass behavior.

"Fine!" She yelled through the door.

"Fine." He exhaled, going into his room.

Duke keened and then walked over to Tifa's door, pawing at it. Tifa opened the door enough for the dog to come in and glared at Leon.

"The dog's on my side too, so ha!" She slammed the door again.

"That…that's hardly a—shit." Leon ran a hand over his face and with a loud groan went back into his room.

**..:--X--:..**

**035 – Hindsight**

Lightning forked through the dark storm clouds that hung over Radiant Garden. Rain had been falling in droves for the past ten minutes, rolling off roofs and overflowing storm gutters. Thunder boomed in the aftermath of the lightning: loud, violent, and aggressive.

Strangely soothing.

Tifa inhaled deeply and then slowly exhaled, watching the storm unfold on the town. The dark sky and pouring rain pretty much summed up her day. In retrospect, she might have flown off the handle…a bit…maybe…

Bootsteps slowly approached her bedroom door and she bit her lip, looking over and seeing his shadow at the bottom on the door. He knocked lightly.

"Hm." She grunted in permission.

Leon opened the door a sliver. Duke lifted her head from her curled up body on the bed, looking at him curiously. He looked to Tifa in apprehension. She remained where she was by the windowed balcony attached to her room.

"So…"

"…right."

They both stopped and looked uncomfortable.

"You're…you're not going to throw anything, are you?" He prompted.

She snorted, looking back to the rain running in webs down the glass. "No."

"Okay, thanks." He stepped into her room, taking slow steps to the window.

Apologies were definitely in order here…Problem was they were both too damn proud to say anything…They both knew it too. So instead, Tifa looked out the window.

"Bad storm." She remarked idly.

He grunted and another flash of bright white lightning curled through the sky. A split second later, thunder ripped through the air, making a few objects in her room rattle.

"Close one." He remarked.

The tension cracked a bit and they sat quietly, watching the rest of the storm roll through. They'd deal with all the other crap later.

**..:--X--:..**

**036 – Prank War 3**

"Ah!" Tifa coughed in surprise, along with a clatter as the hair dryer hit the floor.

Leon pursed his lips hard to keep from smirking as Tifa came staggering out of her room, white powder adorning her shoulders, face, and damp hair. She was pawing it away from her eyes. Looked like his plan of cramming baby powder in her hair dryer had worked to a tee.

Once her vision was clear, she locked onto him and pointed dangerously.

"You…" She snarled.

Leon gave his best 'who me?' look, failed miserably at it, and settled for an amused smirk. "Looking a little pale today."

Tifa looked beyond words, "You—this—I'm—"

"Sorry, you've got a little…" He gestured to her face, "…sort of all over…"

She threw a shoe at his head and marched back into her room, slamming the door behind her.

He ducked to avoid the shoe and barely stifled a chuckle, catching Duke looking at him with a judging expression.

"What?" He said flatly. "Payback for payback. All's fair."

Duke just licked her nose and looked away.

"Tough crowd." He sighed.

(…to be continued…)

**..:--X--:..**

**A/N 034**: Because even Tifa and Leon get sick of seeing each other's faces every single day and have pointless squabbles. XD

**A/N 035**: This was written as a bit of a continuation of 034, but can be read as separate ditties.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. My hurt/comfort lobe of the brain got tapped and this happened. Some OOCness may have resulted in the attempt. Please let me know. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**037 – Torture**

It was a choked, mangled noise, desperate and agonized.

"Oh my god…" Tifa ran into the torture chamber, eyes fixated on Leon, bloody and tied to a chair.

The perpetrator started in surprise at being found out. Leon's blood soaked the villain up to the elbows, and the knife was still in his hand…

McCallister charged in with her gun leveled. "Holy…Freeze! You have the right to remain silent..."

While the private rattled off rights, Tifa hurried over to Leon, untying his wrists from the chair and giving him a quick check over.

"—Not a soldier—Fractured—Circle—" He was choking out.

"Shh, it's okay." Tifa said, panic lacing her voice. "We gotcha. You're okay."

God, blood was everywhere…all the wounds looked superficial…small blessings. Swallowing hard, she gestured to two of the soldiers who'd come with her and McCallister on the raid. They obediently came forward and she straightened.

"Get him to the hospital. I don't think anything is broken, but be careful just the same." She ordered.

They nodded and with her got Leon on his feet. "Can you walk?"

"M'all right." He was rasping, blood dribbling over his lips.

"Oh shush, no one believes you." Tifa said shakily, steadying him until the two soldiers got a good grip on him.

They led him out of the horror room, and it tore Tifa up inside not to go with them. Instead, she looked to the torture master as McCallister fell quiet.

Without preamble, Tifa took McCallister's gun, lifted it, and emptied the clip into the perpetrator's chest. Unable to utter so much as a dying gasp, he hit the wall from the repetitive blows and sank to the floor, into a pool of his own blood.

McCallister's eyes were wide and her breathing was sharp. Tifa swallowed, flexed her jaw, and handed the private her gun back.

"He tried to run, so I took him out." She said quietly.

"I'll tell them he…he tried to run, ma'am." McCallister nodded, understanding.

Tifa gave her an even look, and then went to catch up to Leon and the soldiers.

**..:-X-:..**

**038 – Quarantine**

It was a false alarm, but there had been no way to know that until after.

"Outbreak? What does that mean?" Leon held the phone to his ear as he hurried down the main street.

"Some sort of pink smoke…gas…leaked in and now they're sealing off the building." Tifa was saying on the other end. "Disease control is already here and taking samples: Haz-Mat, plastic wrap and all."

"Wait, you're there?" Leon turned the corner, heading toward the zone that was being quarantined.

"Um…technically."

"Technically…Care to be specific?"

"I'm inside." She said evenly. "I was in the building when the gas showed up. I'm being sealed in with the other workers."

Leon picked up his pace, just short of running toward the building now. "You didn't think to mention that earlier?"

"Whether you know or not, I'm still stuck in here."

"That is bullshit and you know it." He spotted the building, literally being wrapped in plastic sheets, surrounded by police, any and all access prevented. "Are you all right?" He asked quietly.

"Fine. No negative symptoms to any workers so far. Odorless, tasteless, it's all faded away now." Tifa rattled off the facts like a report.

Leon kept the phone against his ear with white knuckles, shouldering through the crowd surrounding the quarantined building.

"Sir—" One of the police lifted a hand to stop him.

Leon sent him a scalding look and the man let him through. He ducked under the yellow tape and strode up to the plastic-blocked windows. "I'm here." He said into the phone.

"I know." She said.

He looked up and recognized Tifa standing on the other side of the plastic and glass, phone to her ear. She offered a little wave from the other side but didn't hang up.

"Hi." Her voice cracked over the phone.

"Hi." He replied, an unfamiliar knot twisting painfully in his insides.

Tifa was sealed in this building with an unknown substance that could be airborne-biochemical warfare for all they knew, and he was…useless. Swallowing, he shifted his hold on the phone.

"So…" He said after a beat. "This sucks."

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm…waiting." He shrugged.

"What? For what? Leon, this quarantine could last for hours…days. You can't seriously—"

"I've got nothing better to do." He shrugged again.

It sounded like Tifa sniffled on the other end, but he didn't say anything.

"Thanks." She murmured.

**..:-X-:..**

**039 - Rock, Paper, Scissors**

"I am not doing the report on this." Leon shook his head.

"Yes you are. It's your turn." Tifa said matter-of-factly.

"No it's not." He argued. "Last time, you ran the mission and I got stuck with the paperwork. It's your turn to do the report and mine to do the mission."

"Our last mission was Enchanted Castle, which YOU ran."

"You headed the mission in Atlantica last week."

"That doesn't count."

"I had to do the paperwork. It definitely counts."

Tifa finally turned and glared at him. Leon just glared back. They stalemated like that for a few seconds before Tifa tilted her head.

"Fine." She hissed, "Since neither of us can come to a compromise…We have to settle this like adults."

"Fine." He said loftily.

They both glared and each lifted a fist. Wordlessly, they shook their fists up and down three times before throwing.

"Yes!" Tifa beamed. "Rock beats scissors." She knocked her fist against his knuckles in a crushing motion.

"Dammit." Leon hissed, begrudgingly handing her the mission file. "Have your fun."

Tifa chuckled and took the file. "I'll send you a postcard from Olympus." She teased.

"Get out of my office." He said flatly, shooing her toward the door.

She laughed and left.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. I think this round turned out slightly awkward, but I do not apologize! We all need a little awkward sometimes. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**040 – Another Side**

Tifa reset the security system on Merlin's house after she walked in for her shift, not looking forward to six hours stuck in this house. The old sorcery books were only so interesting when there was a big hunk of nothing going on.

She nearly skidded in a puddle of water and grabbed the wall to steady herself. Looking down at the floor, she saw splotches of water and soap and…was that mud?...leading down the hallway and toward the break room in the back of the house.

Curious, she took a few more cautious steps and poked her head into the bathroom. She gagged at the mud and grime slaking the bathtub, spilling over into the floor with soaked towels and what she recognized as Leon's jacket and T-shirt.

"What in Kingdom Hearts…" She picked up the bottle of shampoo and saw it was completely empty.

What the Hell did Leon get INTO last night?

Perplexed, she followed the water trail into the break room and abruptly found her answer.

Leon was on his back, out cold on the couch and shirtless. In place of a shirt, however, a full grown red-golden retriever was curled up on his torso.

"Huh?" Tifa tilted her head.

The dog lifted her head and looked at Tifa with large brown eyes. Leon didn't stir and Tifa snickered, quietly backtracking to her bag and pulling out her camera.

Oh, she HAD to get a picture of this…

**..:-X-:..**

**041 – Distraction**

Tifa twisted Leon's arm behind his back, pinning him to the floor. "You're getting lazy."

He grunted and rolled hard, throwing off her grip and driving his knee into her side. With the wind knocked out of her, Tifa fell off. Gaining the upper hand, Leon reversed the grip, getting her into a headlock.

"And you're cocky." He bit back.

She laughed and dropped her weight from her legs, hanging in his grip. Taken off guard, Leon staggered. Tifa wriggled out of his hold and spun around, swinging her heel to slam across his jaw smoothly. He dropped like a rock.

"Unlike you, I've got the moves to back up my arrogance. Now get up." Tifa said, getting her breath back. "I've still got an hour before my shift starts."

Leon swung his leg around, sweeping her ankles out from under her. She fell back on her hands and rolled backwards to her feet, hardly missing a beat as he staggered to his feet.

"C'mon, I heard you were good." Tifa said, lifting her fists.

"This isn't my playing field." Leon said, wiping blood from his lip. "Swords and guns, not hand to hand."

"Always with the excuses." Tifa grinned and attacked again.

Leon was expecting her right hook this time and dodged it, grabbing her forearm and tripping her knees out from under her. She grabbed his shoulder and they both went down to the floor: Tifa on her back and Leon on top of her, pinning her down.

Tifa smelled like freshly cut grass and strong coffee. A bizarre but…strangely appealing combination. Before Leon could register why that particular thought was troubling, Tifa had driven her knee into his chest, flipping him off of her person. He rolled off and she immediately hooked her leg around his neck, pinning him down like an ox.

"Give." She demanded.

He choked as her calf locked his throat closed and tapped his palm on the ground twice. Satisfied, Tifa released him and rolled easily back up to her feet, pushing her hair out of her face.

"And you owe me another beer." She said in triumph. "You're really running up a tab here."

"Shut up." Leon got up slowly, too proud to show how much pain he was in. "Next time we train with swords."

"All right." Tifa lifted her hands skeptically, "But you won't just have bruised ribs after that."

Leon just glared as she chuckled and left the training room. After the door closed, he hung his head and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Ow…" He doubled over. Damn, that woman could kick…

**..:-X-:..**

**042 – Peace Made Scarce**

"Are you okay?" Leon asked.

Tifa lifted her face from her desk, eyes narrowed and frown set deep. He paused, looking at her again. She continued to glare, looking five seconds away from ripping someone's throat out. He backtracked over the details of the day.

Nothing huge. No attacks beyond the usual skirmishes. No meetings. No tours. Nothing big enough to warrant the death stare she was sending his way. It wasn't the end of the month, when progress reports were due. It wasn't the beginning of the month, when new assignments came pouring in. It wasn't…

Wait a second…

Tifa was glaring as though waiting for him to figure it out himself. Realization dawned and he took an instinctive step away from her.

"Oh." He blurted.

Awkward level seven.

"I'm going to…I left something…See ya." He turned and escaped through the door into the hallway.

Oh…shit…He'd completely forgotten about…Dammit…He made a mental note to buy a tub of ice cream on the way home…some sort of peace offering to appease the beast before she clawed his eyes out…

Every three weeks, it was really, really uncomfortable having a woman as a roommate.

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 040**: This is Tifa's side of my one-shot _Man's Best Friend_, in which Leon meets and subsequently ends up adopting Duke the red-golden retriever.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Some humor at Leon's expense in this chapter…because he's just too much fun as a target. Also, this collection has reached +1000 hits! Woohoo! You guys are awesome!**

**..:-X-:..**

**043 – Bring Them All to the Yard**

Tifa kept her eyes on the suspect through the one-way glass as Leon walked out of the interrogation room.

"She's still not talking, about anything." Leon said, sounding frustrated. "You want to try?"

"Oh, I don't think she'd take as kindly to me." Tifa snickered.

Leon looked at her with one raised eyebrow, but pressed on. "We can't hold her much longer if she refuses to say anything."

"You could…make her talk." Tifa tilted her head.

"We can't force someone to talk. What are you suggesting, torture?"

"Not torture, per se."

"Torture can't be 'per se'." He scoffed.

Tifa looked at him steadily, "I bet she'd spill if you buttered her up."

Leon blinked, "No."

"Oh come on." Tifa smirked. "Flirt with her, work her over, give her a little somethin'-somethin', maybe she'll come around."

Leon's face in that moment was priceless. "No."

"I forgot who I was talking to here." Tifa leaned forward on her forearms. "Look, I'm thinking she'll surrender some info if she thinks…there's something in it for her."

"But there's not." Leon said firmly.

"I know that—"

"I don't have any…'somethin'-somethin' to give."

Tifa laughed, "Oh yes you do. You're not a piece of meat, but…you are one tall glass of water." She said, shrugging her shoulders. "So just…use what God gave you and get some answers out of that bitch."

Leon looked utterly disturbed. "There's…something wrong with you."

"Just trust me."

"This is stupid. How do you know—"

"She's a woman…It'll work."

He paused and then shook his head, "No. I'm going to get answers out of the suspect, but as a professional…not some sort of…whore."

Tifa shrugged, "Suite yourself, leather pants."

**..:-X-:..**

**044 – Long Distance**

"What?" was the half-coherent answer.

Sitting in the tent in Deep Jungle, Tifa shifted her hold on the phone. "I need some help…Are you okay?"

"M'fine…What is it?" Leon sounded sluggish.

Tifa flipped through her map of the tropical world. "My most up-to-date map says it's clear all the way to the great waterfall, but when I surveyed the landscape earlier, I found a five foot thick wall of rock blocking off the caves."

"…Rockslide…last summer…" He grunted.

"Oh." Tifa replied, biting the corner of her lip and frowning at the map.

"What?" Leon grumbled.

"It's just…My mission team is almost all rookies…This is a start up mission for them…"

"Point, Tifa, quickly." He said irritably.

Tifa exhaled, blowing her bangs off her forehead, "Are there any pockets of Heartless or Nobodies around it?"

"…Tifa, it's three in the morning here and you called to ask about Heartless?" Leon sounded annoyed.

She looked out to her team, sharpening their weapons idly in the noon sunlight. She shifted and smirked to herself. "Well, that and just to hear your voice. It's been a week here and I've just missed you ever so much—" She chirped in a sickeningly sweet voice.

Leon hung up on her without another word and Tifa snickered, setting her phone down and leaving the tent to round up her team.

**..:-X-:..**

**045 - Prank War 4**

Tifa waited, two canisters ready in her hands, as she watched Leon open his office door across the hall from hers. As she'd hoped, the balloons she had recruited McCallister and some interns to help her inflate now toppled out of Leon's office and spilled into the hallway.

He just stood there as the five foot tall swamp of helium and rubber swallowed his desk and made it impossible to cross the office. His back stayed turned to her open door. Tifa waited patiently, holding the canisters just below her desk surface.

After a few seconds, Leon turned and gave Tifa a flat look. She offered her best innocent face.

"Is something wrong?" She asked.

He stepped out of the hall, into her office, and closed the door, looking at her. "Is that it?"

"Is what it?" She kept up the façade.

"Balloons…That had to take several hours…Not bad." He nodded slowly, though the little vein in his temple was sticking out. "I'm just wondering if that's all you've got or if—"

Tifa lifted the canisters and depressed both nozzles, aiming at him. Blue and green silly string erupted out of the cans, nailing him square in the chest. He gave no outward reaction, standing there and taking the attack, just giving her a deadpan look.

She moved her hands a little, changing the angles so the silly string landed over his shoulders and decorated the wall behind him as her aim missed some. After a few seconds, she stopped shooting it and calmly set the cans down.

"I'm done now." She said brightly.

Leon reached up and pulled away the strings that had found his face. He looked down at himself, his entire torso covered in the stuff, and then back to Tifa. His jaw flexed and he lifted a hand, pointing to her threateningly.

"You sleep with one eye open." He growled, turning to march back to his office to purge the balloon wall.

Tifa took the opportunity to cover his back with the rest of her silly string ammo.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. I'm starting to get a little more friendly with Leon and Tifa as potentially romantic…Enjoy the product of my little obsession. **

**..:-X-:..**

**046 – Scars Remind Us**

Tifa lifted an eyebrow as Leon pointed at the spot on the map with his middle finger. "Did I offend you in some way recently?" She asked.

Leon blinked at her and saw what she was looking at. "Oh, no, crooked finger." He showed his index finger, which was very obviously bent from an old break healed-over.

"Oh, that's nothing, listen to this." Tifa rolled her left shoulder, showing off the nasty clicking noise it made. "Got bear hugged by a Nobody last year."

Leon seemed to see that as a challenge and turned up the side of his forearm, showing off the jagged, angry scar, "Heartless wrapped an electric wire around my arm. Took two minutes to get it off."

Tifa nodded, impressed, but lifted up her knee, pointing just above the cap. The knife scar that ran from the top of her knee to the bottom of the cap was self explanatory.

He leaned in and grunted, tugging the collar of his shirt aside to show the bullet wound just over his collar bone.

She tutted and showed off the healed-over burn marks just above her hip. They had been third degree and took weeks to heal.

Leon just pointed to the scar running from his forehead, between his eyes, and ending under his other eye. Tifa pursed her lips and sat back in her chair.

"You win."

**..:-X-:..**

**047 – Buried Alive**

The second Tifa stopped yelling, Leon started digging faster…if that was possible.

"Tifa? Tifa, keep talking." He said loudly, shoveling the mud out of the hole with his bare hands.

Silence.

Cursing, he dug faster until his hand struck wood. The force he hit it with probably dislocated a knuckle or two, but he couldn't even feel his fingers anymore. Heart hammering, he clawed through the mud, clearing a decent space around the pine box and finding the edge.

With bleeding hands, he tore the lid off, wrenching the wood up as hard as he could, splintering it in several places. Adrenaline aided him in pulling the top of the pine box open. Tifa was limp inside, the side of her head bleeding from where she'd been knocked unconscious before being buried alive.

"Hey." He barked, as if that would wake her.

He knelt in the mud, sliding his arms under her and pulling her upper half out of the coffin, bringing her up into the open air. Her head lolled back against his elbow and he slid his other arm under her knees, hoisting her out of the box.

Once out in the fresh air, Tifa choked, gasping and coming back to awareness weakly.

"Easy." Leon stepped out of the frantic hole he'd dug, easing her down to the grass.

In her half-conscious state, however, she would have none of that and clung to him, choking for air and making noises of distress and panic. Leon awkwardly held her, unsure how to let her know that she was safe…that it was…okay now.

"Easy." He offered again, rubbing her arm.

She had her face in the crook of his neck, uncontrolled tremors shaking her form. "I'm s-sorry." She croaked hoarsely.

"No, it's okay." He said, setting his cheek against the top of her head. "It's okay."

They just sat there in the mud until Tifa calmed down.

**..:-X-:..**

**048 - Break**

A person could only handle so much before they cracked. It looked like Leon had finally reached his limit. He was sitting forward with his forehead in one hand, elbow on his knee. The other hand was wrapped like a vise around the edge of the couch, as though crushing the upholstery would let some of the frustration, the despair, and the pain leak out and go away.

Tifa didn't try to hide the fact that she'd walked in on him like this. He already knew she was here. Tip-toeing around would have just been insulting. So, instead, she slowly walked over and sat on the couch beside him, not saying anything.

His breathing was short and sharp, barely in control, and he didn't look up when she sat down. She'd never seen him like this.

"Rough day?" She offered quietly, trying to lighten the mood, or at least break the tense silence.

He looked up briefly, but straight ahead, not at her, and only long enough that she clearly saw the red lining his eyes. With an incoherent grunt, he dropped his face again into one hand. He seemed aware that he was finally breaking, and also embarrassed about it, by the way his jaw kept working furiously.

Tifa was usually good at comforting people. When upset, most people liked being comforted, consoled, arm pats and sympathetic words. Leon was not most people, and she found herself wrong-footed. She looked down and saw that her hand was right next to the one he had clenched around the couch in a death grip.

Ha, if she tried holding his hand, she could lose fingers and any respect he still had for her. No, that was definitely out of the question. He clearly wanted to just be left alone, but…no, she couldn't do that either.

So she went for the happy medium.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she reached over and dropped only her pinkie finger over his knuckle, as much contact as she figured he would tolerate. His shoulders stiffened immediately, but he didn't pull away from her.

Even Leon wasn't made of stone all the time, but Tifa felt…special…to know he was willing to let her see that first hand…Even if neither of them would ever speak about this half hour again. He could be made of stone tomorrow.

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 046**: I got this idea while watching _Jaws_, during the scene when they're on the boat comparing scars. Pre-AMNoM, Leon definitely wins, but with the eye-shrapnel Tifa gets in AMNoM, she has him beat.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. More randomness and some shameless fluff for your enjoyment!**

**..:-X-:..**

**049 – Noobs**

The new recruits were…green. 'New' lived up to every sense of the word. These boys still had the sparkle of glory in their eyes. Heroes and dreams were the equivalent of war to them. Fortunately, they had been placed under 'weapon specialist', and thus sifted into Leon's zone of training. Well…fortunate for the war effort…not so fortunate for the soldier-wannabes themselves.

Three hours into the first round of drills, half of them were throwing up and the other half was in tears. Some overlapped the two options. Pathetic. Leon only hoped Tifa was having more luck with her hand-to-hand combat recruits. Speaking of…

Over the heaving, sweaty heads and shoulders of the newbies, Leon spotted Tifa walking across the terrace of the training area. Huh, she must have told them all off and ended training early today. He grimaced. That wasn't a good sign.

Dropping his gaze slightly, he saw a handful of his recruits watching her as well…parts of her anyway. The corner of his eye twitched, and he cleared his throat loudly.

All of their heads snapped back to him immediately, fear in their eyes. Fear. He liked that, but the damage was already done. He looked at the group that had been distracted by Tifa's…by Tifa.

"Three miles." He jerked his head toward the Great Maw.

They groaned and climbed to their feet.

"Four." He added for the way their guttural whining grated on his nerves.

"But sir—" One recruit started, but was nearly elbowed into a punctured lung by his comrade.

"Five." Leon replied.

They clamped their jaws shut and hefted up the weighted swords over their heads, starting the five mile run around the Great Maw. At least they could learn; he watched them go a moment before looking back to the others left in his group.

"Back to the drill." He ordered.

They hastily obeyed.

**..:-X-:..**

**050 – Brain Ninjas**

"Ten!" Tifa belted out, ducking.

Leon looked to his left in time to block the Nobody aiming its claws for his neck. He threw it off his Gunblade and reversed so he and Tifa were back to back. Tifa lifted her fists as the Nobodies launched their attack on the Marketplace. McCallister and other soldiers were securing the perimeter.

"Drop." Leon muttered.

Tifa let her legs go out, landing on her knees as he swept the Gunblade around in a 360 degree swing, taking out all of the Nobodies in a three foot circle. Simultaneously, Tifa rolled sideways, coming up on Leon's right and pulling into a roundhouse kick, slamming into the clammy bodies of three Nobodies.

McCallister emptied her first clip into the crowd of Nobodies surrounding the items' store and began to reload as another private started firing in her stead. Tifa rolled up to her feet as Leon launched a Firaga spell at the recovering swarm. Just outside his peripheral, she saw a large Sniper Nobody roaring out of the concrete.

"Down." She barked, taking one long stride.

Without looking at her, Leon finished driving the Gunblade forward through a Nobody's body, staying in that bent position. Tifa rolled her back across his, gaining momentum by shoving off of his shoulders and slinging her fist into the Sniper Nobody's throat. It choked and staggered back, giving her the opportunity to finish it off.

"That's amazing." The private beside McCallister gawked. "Are their brains synchronized or something?"

McCallister lifted her rifle and took careful aim at a Samurai Nobody far below them. "Will you focus? You only WISH you could EVER be that good." She shot down the Nobody in three shots.

Their unit finished off the attack and the private looked to McCallister.

"You think we'll ever have that kind of shorthand?" He smirked, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

McCallister mustered up her best Leon-glare, "You want to keep that hand?"

The private quickly took his hand back and got back to cleaning up the marketplace.

**..:-X-:..**

**051 – Happy Place**

"I'm not a cheerful person."

Note to self, Tifa mused, pain killers made Leon too talkative…and open…and a stater of the obvious.

"Oh? I hadn't noticed." She played along, looking under the heavy gauze dressing at the back of his neck. The wound had at least stopped oozing blood by now.

"I mean, why should I be?" Leon was mumbling. "We've got enough stupid happy people running around."

Tifa blinked, brushing the hair away from his neck to make sure all of the stitches were still in place. "We must be in two different towns, because all I see is un-cheerful people around here."

He grunted. "It's easier just…being this way."

"What? Grumpy?" Tifa snorted, "Cold? Taciturn? Stoic?"

"…yeah."

Tifa smirked. Even imagining Leon as a bubbly, smiling person was impossible…and scary. Still, it was no reason for him to have a stick in his ass all the time. The difference between his good mood and his bad mood was a little more sarcasm and a little less narrowing of the eyes.

"Are you happy?" She found herself asking.

Hell, if he was ever going to be honest with her…On pain killers was the way to do it. She couldn't see his face from where she was standing behind him.

"No." was the simple reply.

It was a dumb question, in hindsight. Tifa frowned, unsure what had possessed her to ask in the first place. Missing someone for almost half your life and rebuilding a town that thought you were doing it all wrong, and with Sora being all out of whack, that was just pure betrayal the way he'd been lately.

Was SHE happy?

No, dammit, she wasn't going to turn this around on herself. Not today. Not after watching Leon get impaled in the neck by a Heartless claw. She was happy that he was alive after that.

"But…" Leon was saying. "…if…When I see…When I imagine myself happy...you're there."

Her fingers stilled over the gauze and she stared at the back of his head.

Feeling her freeze behind him, Leon half turned and looked up at her from where he was sitting, eyes clouded by the medication and way, way too open. Tifa blinked and drew a careful breath, looking away from him and wiping her hands off on a towel.

"Are you saying I'm your happy place?" She said, throwing an awkward little laugh at the end.

He dropped his gaze to the floor. "I guess…Never thought about it that way before."

"You're delirious on medication." She said hastily. "You…you should go lay down."

"Nah, I'm okay." But he stood and obediently turned toward his room.

Tifa watched him go and then sighed, running a hand over her face, thoroughly perplexed. Pain killers must have shorted out his stubborn-mechanism. Chewing the side of her lip, she wondered how they would affect his memory.

"Leon?"

"Yep?" He…chirped, looking back to her.

"You're…" She exhaled, "You're my happy place too."

He grinned, because even pain killers couldn't coax a full smile out of him, and went into his room. After his door closed, Tifa groaned and went for her emergency stash of whiskey. She had NOT signed up for this, but she couldn't stifle the tiniest of smiles before the rim of the bottle met her lips.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Time for another round of super special awesome potato casserole to my lovely reviewers! You guys rock!**

**..:-X-:..**

**052 – CPR**

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

The pressure on his chest kept coming back. It would ease away, then return, like a punch to the ribs. Then something warm and soft would cover his mouth briefly, pushing air down his throat. Then back to the pressure. Whoever was doing that needed to cut it out. It was really getting annoy—

Water suddenly rushed up his throat and Leon choked back to life, involuntarily trying to expel water and take in oxygen at the same time, threatening to drown in his own lungs. Hands gripped his shoulders, rolling him onto his side and holding him there. He coughed and gasped, throwing up what felt like a quart of water before lapsing into desperate heaves for air.

"Oh thank God…Easy, easy…" He heard someone over the pounding of his heart in his ears.

As less of his brainpower was starved of oxygen, more awareness was delegated to the situation. His breathing slowly regulated and he realized he was on solid ground and soaking wet…but he couldn't piece together what had happened…but he could hear water sloshing around somewhere close.

"You…have got to stop…making a habit of this." He recognized it was Tifa who had been speaking.

With more effort than he cared to admit, he rolled back onto his back and looked up at her. She was on her knees beside him, equally soaked and out of breath, though the fear running rampant in her eyes was new. He shifted, making sure all of his arms and legs were still attached, and looked back up at her from the ground.

She shook her head in dismay, "How many times…am I going to have to…save you?"

He coughed lightly, "Water—"

"Yes, very observant." She grunted, the panic quickly receding from her eyes. "Are you okay?"

He rubbed one hand over his eyes. "Fantastic."

**..:-X-:..**

**053 – Beautiful**

When Tifa walked in, long hair in a fancy up-do and wearing a long, slinky dress, Leon did a shameless double take. It was the color of red wine and had a long slit running up one thigh, coupled with being practically backless and being held up by the single halter strap around her neck, barely.

"What's the occasion?" He asked mildly, flipping through the latest reconstruction report.

Tifa swiveled toward him on her pointed heels, "Guh, some fancy party that the board of directors on the Council invited me to. It'll be good for PR…plus there's an open bar."

He grunted at that, forcibly tearing his eyes back to the report. "Oh, I thought maybe the economy had finally gotten so bad that you were going to sell your body on the street."

Tifa cocked one hip and glared at him. "I could put your eye out with one of these heels. Don't tempt me." She threatened.

He shook his head and smirked at her. Looking un-amused, she shifted the strap of her dress, making sure everything was where it should be, before looking at him.

"Do I really look like a hooker?" She asked.

He sat back and took full advantage of the opportunity to scope her out. "No."

Tifa bobbed her head, "Good."

"They prefer to be called escorts."

She threw her hairbrush at him. "Jerk."

He ducked the flying hairbrush. "Hope you treat your clients better than that."

She huffed and marched out, slamming the door behind her. As soon as it closed, the smirk slid off Leon's face and he stared at the door blankly for a moment. On the floor by the couch, Duke gave a small bark. Snapping back to himself, he looked to the dog, blinking away the image of Tifa in that dress.

"Wow." He exhaled in slight awe…and immediately dropped his head to the table with a dull _thunk_.

**..:-X-:..**

**054 - Prank War 5**

"Oh, come on, it's fun." Tifa's voice was high and squeaky.

Leon just grunted, picking up balloon after balloon and violently popping them with a thumbtack. For the past ten minutes, they had been breaking down the balloons that Tifa had stashed in his office earlier that morning. Well, Leon was breaking them. Tifa was just sucking the helium out of them.

Tifa giggled, a high pitched, hyper-sounding noise, and let the balloon go. It fluttered around the room as it deflated, landing with a soft _pah_ on top of Leon's computer monitor. Leon just slowly lifted his eyes from the balloon carnage and gave her a flat look.

"You're kind of a grump, you know that?" She chirped, taking up another balloon.

"And you're a child." He replied lowly, popping the balloons mercilessly.

Tifa smiled and popped a few balloons with a paperclip before sighing. "I've been stuck in my office all day. If I didn't stuff your office full of balloons, I was going to go insane."

"And the…" He pointed to the trash can, where he'd thrown away all of the silly string she'd coated him with.

"Drunk with power." She excused, untying the bottom of another balloon and holding it closed, offering it. "Come on…Just try it once."

"No." Leon sat back. "I think we should call a truce."

"Truce? You're the one who started this." Tifa said, crossing one leg over the other as she held the balloon.

He shrugged. "So? Truce?"

She gave him an even look. "It would be nice not to have to check my office for glue, water, and stink bombs every time I come in." She shrugged. "All right, sure, truce."

She put her mouth over the end of the balloon and inhaled deeply, watching the balloon shrink in her hands.

A knock came to Leon's closed door and Leon opened his mouth, but Tifa beat him to it.

"Come iiiiiiiin!" She announced in her helium-affected voice.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. I think I'm creating my own brand of fluff between these two; what do you think?**

**..:-X-:..**

**055 – Ignorance is Bliss**

"Ugh." Tifa's noise of disgust made Leon looked up.

She was flipping through letter after letter from their mail slot, and from the permanent look of horror on her face, it wasn't pretty. She looked over at him and held up the letter that warranted the just-vomited-a-little-in-my-throat expression.

"Do you read this crap?" She flapped the letter.

"Electric bill? Unfortunately." He chided flatly.

"No…This…This…" She inhaled. "PR letters that made their way to our personal address. I mean, I've read most of these…They think you're emo and I'm a lesbian."

He blinked, "Really?"

"Yeah, because chasing Cloud all the way around the damn planet gave a real homosexual vibe." She groaned, skimming another letter. "Hm, apparently you're an inefficient leader and have no social skills, and I…" She skimmed further, "am insane for living with you and not…'hitting that'."

He snorted, "I just stopped reading that stuff after someone tried to mail me anthrax."

"This is just…madness." She gestured to the multiple letters. "It's not fanmail because half of them hate us. It's not hatemail because the other half wants—" She read off another letter, "to 'lick chocolate off your—' This is nasty." She threw the letter on the table.

Leon was almost amused at how worked up she was getting. "If it bothers you, don't read it."

Tifa looked at him incredulously, "Does this NOT bother you? One girl wrote that the Gunblade is huge because your…because other things aren't."

Sighing, Leon stood and walked over to the table, sliding his hand across the top and shucking all of the letters into the trash can at the end of the table.

"Save yourself the lost sleep and just don't read it. Trust me." He said firmly.

Tifa eyed the waste basket and shuddered.

"What?" Leon asked.

Tifa cast a quick Fire spell to burn the letters. "Just seeing them made me feel dirty and violated."

"Welcome to my world." He sighed, getting back to work.

**..:-X-:..**

**056 – Lobster**

Tifa reached the apartment and staggered inside, immediately slumping over the back of the couch.

"You would not BELIEVE the day I had." She groaned, "Just when I think paperwork can't be more annoying…The Council decides to start reconstruction on the Great Maw early and now I—Why are you so red?" She lifted an eyebrow at Leon.

He was slumped in his seat, looking thoroughly peeved. His face, neck, and arms were the deepest shade of scarlet she had ever seen.

"Six hours in Agrabah deserts." He grumbled, moving as little as possible.

Tifa straightened up off the couch and tsked. "Haven't you ever heard of sunscreen? Or skin cancer? You bonehead."

Leon grimaced and tilted his head back, closing his eyes. "Don't taunt me when I'm in pain."

She could practically see the heat coming off the scorched skin and felt an all-too-familiar empathy for the discomfort and exhaustion that sunburns caused. Tutting, she pulled off her shoes.

"Well, I don't feel sorry for you at all." She hmphed, "You look like the Kool Aid Man."

He saluted her with a raised middle finger and she chuckled despite herself.

**..:-X-:..**

**057 - Worry**

When Tifa became aware again, the first coherent thought she had was 'owww…'

The last thing she remembered was hearing the Crimson Jazz Heartless in the Bailey loading up, all four of them simultaneously turning bright red as they unleashed Firaga spells at her. She thought she'd dodged it, but by the way her body was aching, she hadn't.

…That also might explain the smell of burnt skin and plastic…plastic?

Dammit, it smelled like a hospital…She cringed at this realization and what it meant, forcibly prying open one eye. The room was dimly lit: dull walls, shuttered windows, generic paintings on the walls. Crap. She shifted slightly and tried to get a good look at herself, evaluate the damage, but the movement sent rakes of pain across the skin of her arm, shoulder, and neck. A small moan escaped.

Something moved just outside of her line of sight and she turned her head before remembering that motion was bad. She hissed but blinked furiously to keep her vision clear. Her mild stirring had apparently jerked Leon out of whatever zoned-out state he'd been in.

"Hey." He blurted, like he'd just woken up or something, by the naked worry in his eyes.

"Hey." She reciprocated, voice hoarse and much weaker than she would have liked. "How long—"

"A few hours." He answered quickly, falling back into that default lax expression.

Oh, well that wasn't TOO bad…considering…Tifa saw the angry red burns and bruises across the left side of her body, where she'd taken the brunt of the attack. It looked a lot worse than it felt, really. They must have hooked her up on the good stuff.

"Sorry." She said after a beat, flexing her fingers slowly to regain the feeling in them.

Leon blinked at her, "For what?"

"Just…" Tifa winced again before continuing. "…if I scared you…I thought I ducked enough—"

"I wasn't worried." He sat back in what he obviously thought was a nonchalant way.

Filthy liar, she thought, I know you too well to fall for that crap.

"You're so full of shit." She grinned.

He didn't respond to that beyond a flat look.

"When can I get out of here?" Tifa asked, looking around the small hospital room.

"Tomorrow…You know you're a real jerk sometimes?" He pointed out.

Ha, that was the pot calling the kettle black, she thought.

"Yeah, yeah, you're still full of shit." She retorted, relaxing back into the pillows.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. I'd like you guys' opinion for future ditties: do you prefer shameless friendship or subtle romance between these two?**

**..:-X-:..**

**058 – Trial and Error**

Leon looked from Tifa, to the plate of food she was munching on, and back to Tifa. She looked at him smugly and swallowed the bite of food.

"See? I can cook." She said, feeling awfully proud of herself for not burning it black.

He looked skeptical, eying the mess on the plate. "Is this what that smell was?"

She bobbed her head, "But the smoke alarms didn't go off, so don't sass me."

"What is it?" He asked, keeping a safe distance from the table.

Tifa looked down at the plate and back to him. "Chicken alfredo. Why?"

"I've…never seen it that color before." He folded his arms.

She frowned, "Well, it tastes just fine."

He snorted and she scoffed, pulling out a fork and jabbing it at him.

"All right, Mr. Chef McCooking-Skills, try it for yourself." She held out the fork.

"I don't think I'm brave enough for that." He half turned.

"I dare you." She pressed.

He looked at her flatly. "If you have to dare someone to try your food, that's not saying much."

She wordlessly held the fork out with a stubborn glare. He heaved a long-suffering sigh and snatched the fork.

"If it'll make you shut up about it."

She watched him closely as he took an apprehensive bite of the supposed chicken alfredo. He looked at her, chewed twice, stopped, and immediately looked for the trash can.

"Oh come on." She moaned as he spat it out in the trash can. "It can't be that bad."

Leon wiped his mouth, "Did you put any water in this at all?"

"I followed the directions." She held up the cookbook and shook it at him.

He shook his head, coughing a few times. "Not close enough."

Tifa sighed and sat back, poking at the plate herself. "I miss the good old days."

"Good old days?" He lifted an eyebrow at her.

"When a girl attempts to cook and the guy hates it, but pretends it's good to spare her feelings." She gave him a flat look.

Leon just looked back at her for a moment and then coughed again. "Yeah…we're not that close."

**..:-X-:..**

**059 – Lahar**

"Bring it a little lower." Leon called from the hold to the cockpit, where McCallister was piloting the short-range Gummi.

He had slid the door of the hold open, giving a very open view of the mudflow that was gushing through the residual canyon that had been Rising Falls. It was far from a danger to the town of Radiant Garden, but at the moment, it wasn't the town he was worried about.

Tifa stood on the mound of rock that hadn't been completely buried under the mudflow. The Gummi was still too far away for her to jump, but she looked like she was considering it anyway.

"Closer." He yelled back to the cockpit.

"It won't go closer." McCallister answered.

He looked back out to Tifa, who seemed to be gauging the distance with the entire three foot space she had to get a running start.

"You'll need to jump from there." He yelled to her. "We can't get closer."

"Yeah, I figured." Tifa yelled back over the wind and the gurgling of the rushing mud around her.

Leon assessed the situation again. "First, you need to—"

He was cut off as Tifa took two strides across the three foot rock and leapt toward the open hold of the Gummi. For a split second, Leon marveled at the distance she was able to get off such a short run up. Then she was closing the distance and almost into the Gummi.

She landed on her foot on the very edge of the hold, arms flapping to try and regain her balance. Leon grabbed her arm with one elbow and gripped the overhead bar of the Gummi's ceiling to keep them both from falling out into the rushing current.

"McCallister!" He barked.

"Sir!" McCallister called back and complied, driving the Gummi forward.

The floor tilted sideways and they both tipped backwards away from the open door, toppling to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. Her elbow hit his throat and she landed on his knee as he hit the floor of the Gummi and she flopped on top of him.

"Ow." She said, rolling off of him and rubbing her elbow.

Leon got his wind back and checked the back of his head for blood after the collision with the floor. "How…do you get into those situations?"

Tifa pushed her hair out of her eyes. "Talent, I guess."

He shook his head at that and got back to his feet, clearing his throat after the violent meeting with her elbow. "Are you all right?"

She sighed at the bloody lip she'd managed to get. She wiped it off and looked at her hand before looking to him. "I'm awesome, but McCallister needs to learn how to fly properly."

**..:-X-:..**

**060 - Competition**

He couldn't compete.

Two years was a long time, but it wasn't long enough. The memory was still too strong. The hurt was too fresh. She wasn't to the point of moving on yet. He wasn't sure when it had happened or how, but she was taking over his thoughts. He couldn't do anything about it, and he refused to speak to her about it when the wounds were still so fresh for her.

He wasn't even sure how to label what was happening…He was…falling for her…no matter how cliché that sounded.

But he couldn't compete with a dead man.

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 059**: 'Lahar' basically means volcanic mudflow.

**A/N 060**: Another exactly 100 word drabble! Please don't freak out on me for the subject. It's been hinted at several times that this would become more than platonic. It'll still be a while before any truly romantic stuff comes to light…because it can never be that easy with these two…Tee hee.


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Off-brand fluff in this one, but not overly so. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**061 – Animal Rescue**

"Almost…C'mere…" Leon stretched as far as he could, but the Dalmatian puppy just keened and backed further away.

How the dog had gotten up on the rocky ledge, seven feet off the ground, was beyond Leon, and it was being totally uncooperative in his efforts to get it down. Behind him, Tifa watched with folded arms, amused by the sight of Leon stretching just as far as he could, on tip toe even.

"I don't think it likes you." She snarked.

"Shut up." He grunted, "Come on." He snapped his fingers, trying to get the puppy to come to him.

The Dalmatian would have none of it and backed deeper into the ledge, nearly out of view. Leon fell back to his feet, glaring up at the puppy.

"Fine, you can just stay up there." He grumbled.

Tifa shook her head and walked over. "Just because Duke thinks you're a god doesn't mean the entire canine population does. Give me a leg up."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm not giving YOU a leg up." She snapped.

Leon looked like he was choking on a sharp, colorful reproach, but he swallowed it and just knit his fingers together, making a platform for her. With a triumphant smirk, Tifa stepped into his hands and gripped his shoulder to steady herself, straightening and ending up at shoulder-level with the ledge.

The puppy yipped and shifted back and forth, sniffing at her and then curiously hopping toward her. Tifa lifted both hands out and coaxed the Dalmatian toward her, grabbing a hold of the puppy. Holding it with one arm against her shoulder, she slowly started to bend down. Her balance tipped and she grabbed the first thing that she could reach to steady herself: Leon's head.

He grunted and shifted his hold on her ankle to keep her upright until she could step out of his hands, back on solid ground with puppy in tow.

"Tada." She announced, holding the Dalmatian puppy like a trophy.

Leon rubbed the top of his head, looking unappreciative of the death grip she'd had on his hair. Tifa just laughed and turned to return the wayward child to Pongo and Perdita.

**..:-X-:..**

**062 – Resemblance**

There was always that one crazy moment when you see something you know is impossible, but it's the only logical explanation. Leon hated that moment, but he found himself in one.

He walked into Tifa's office and damn nearly froze where he stood. That one crazy moment convinced him that it wasn't Tifa. Sitting back in her chair, legs crossed up on the corner of the desk, long dark hair tumbling over her shoulders, bright blue jacket wrapped around her. She looked like Rinoa, and part of him hated himself for thinking that.

She looked over at him when he stopped in the doorway. "Stuck in a Stop Spell or something?"

He blinked and snapped back to himself. "Er…no."

Tifa gave him an even look and lifted an eyebrow, "You okay?"

He had completely forgotten why he'd come into her office. "Sorry." He grunted, turning and leaving a very confused Tifa alone in her office.

"For what?" She called after him.

For thinking you're someone that you're not, he inwardly scolded himself, but didn't answer her.

**..:-X-:..**

**063 - Tread**

Tifa spread herself out on her front, dispersing her weight across the icy surface of the pond, stretching toward the hole where moments earlier the little girl had been. The high walls of the old castle dungeons felt like they were closing in around her, but at the same time they felt so far away and empty.

"Come on…come on…come on…" She pleaded out loud, her breath escaping in a fog.

For a moment, the black depths of the water only sloshed around the hole arrogantly. Then Leon broke the surface, the little girl clinging to him and shaking, whimpering. Tifa gasped in surprise and relief, reaching forward as far as she dared, lest her weight make the ice break further.

"Here." She said, directing Leon's cold-riddled attention to her.

Fighting the current of the water, he almost sank again but then had the girl in one arm, shoving his shoulder forward. The little girl cried out and tried to remain attached to him, but Tifa slipped her arms around the girl's chest and pulled her out of the water, shimmying backwards on the ice and away from the danger zone.

The girl was freaking out. Tifa would have been worried if she wasn't. She latched onto Tifa's dry warmth and sobbed into her shoulder, trembling all over from the trauma and the cold. She was soaked to the bone and already growing pale. Tifa looked around hastily and spotted Leon's jacket, which he'd somehow had the mind to discard before jumping into the water after the girl disappeared under the ice.

She snatched it up and wrapped it around the girl. It nearly swallowed her and wasn't thick enough for this kind of cold, but it was dry and it was warm. Tifa rubbed the girl's back and held her close, looking over to the hole. Leon had gotten a hold on the edge of the ice, but the cold was quickly sapping his strength and energy.

"You're okay. It's okay." She said in a litany to the child. "Oh, you're such a brave girl. Can you be brave for me?"

"N-no. Don't w-wan-na." The girl's teeth were chattering violently.

"I need you to be a big girl for me." Tifa set the girl down on the stone floor of the artificial pond shoreline. "I need you to stay here because I need to help him." She pointed to Leon.

The girl looked over and her eyes widened slightly. "Ok-k-kay-ay."

Tifa drew a careful breath, "I'll be right back. I promise."

Leaving the trembling girl on the safety of the stone floor, Tifa spread herself out again and scooted out toward the hole again. Leon had managed to get his elbows out of the water, and when he saw her, he waved her off.

"No, go back." He said hoarsely, jaw locked to keep his teeth from chattering.

She got within a foot of the hole and stopped to catch her breath. "When have I ever listened to you?" She offered a small smirk and held out her hands. "Come on."

He looked stubborn. "I'm fine. Get the girl out of here. I'll get—"

"Shut up and let me help you." She snapped, glaring at him.

He glared back for a few seconds before groaning in defeat, gripping one of her forearms. She clamped both hands around his forearms and started trying to back up. He twisted in the water, managing to get one leg out, using her weight as an anchor.

Tifa pulled his shoulder at the same time he pushed against the ice, and finally his center of gravity was out of the water and they both rolled away from the hole in the ice. Tifa felt her heart pounding in her ears as she glanced back at the shore. The little girl was watching with wide, fearful eyes.

"C-can you move?" Tifa looked back to Leon, who was gingerly shifting away from the edge of the hole.

"Define m-move." His teeth chattered out of his control now.

"All right, s-smarta-ass." She angled her body back toward the girl.

They managed to make their way across the ice and back toward the stone, finally leaving the surface of the pond behind. By then, adrenaline had ebbed, and they both nearly just collapsed beside the little girl. On their backs, chests heaving, they just lay there, basking in relief for a moment.

Then the little girl spoke up.

"Wh-what's a sm-smartass?"


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy! **

**..:-X-:..**

**064 – Pick Up**

Leon wasn't sure whether to be amused or irritated.

"Every guy in this place wishes he had the guts to talk to you." The man leaned toward Tifa, who was at the bar getting a refill.

Tifa made a dismissing noise, waving down the bartender.

"Do you want to catch a movie later?" He pressed.

"No." Tifa glanced at him and snorted derisively, tapping the counter to signal the guy pouring drinks to come over. Leon smirked over his beer. This guy was about to get it. He decided to shamelessly watch the show.

"I just got my first breakthrough. My research team is on the verge of tracking down the leader of the Fractured Circle." The guy boasted.

Oh, wrong direction, Leon mused.

"That's nice." Tifa said, trying to make him go away.

"It's really dangerous out there. Long hours…lonely, really." He carried on.

"Margar—Make it a whiskey." Tifa told the barkeep, looking thoroughly annoyed.

"I like a girl who can hold her liquor."

"Make it two." Tifa said, still not looking at the horndog.

He grinned as the bartender nodded. "Maybe we could talk over drinks?"

"No, they're both for me." Tifa took the glasses from the bartender, draining one like a shot. "Now, if you'll excuse me—"

"Aw, c'mon, babe—" He reached over and gripped her arm.

In a flash, Tifa twisted his arm around behind his back and pinned his face to the countertop.

"No means no." She hissed. "And if you touch me again, I'll knock your teeth out."

She shoved him off the counter and paid for her drinks, taking the remaining whiskey and stepping over the guy on the floor, walking away from the bar.

Leon couldn't hide an amused smirk as she sank into her chair across from him.

"So…" He started.

"I don't want to hear it." She started working on the other whiskey.

**..:-X-:..**

**065 – Faith**

The soft echo of footsteps brought Leon back to himself. He blinked, realizing he had zoned out, staring at the massive wooden altar. The church in Radiant Garden was too small to be considered a cathedral, but it was close enough that most people referred to it as one.

It also was more popular as a quiet place to bounce thoughts than as a house of worship. Besides himself, the 'cathedral' was empty, the stone walls and concrete floors refracting even the smallest sounds. He sat in one of the front pews, enjoying the silence.

The echoing footsteps stopped at the back of the church and Leon opened his eyes, staring up at the vaulted ceiling, colored only by the reflection of light off stained glass.

"What?" His voice reverberated off the stone walls.

The footsteps started up again, sidling up beside the pew where he was and then Tifa was sinking down onto the seat beside him.

"Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, huh?" She said quietly, propping her boots up on the pew in front of them.

He snorted. "Hardly." He folded his arms, still blinking up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, me too." She slumped in the seat, staring up at the ceiling with him.

Silence resumed in the big empty chamber and he soon forgot she was there; they both zoned out into their own thoughts.

**..:-X-:..**

**066 – Just No**

"Oh no, what did she do to you?" Leon was moaning.

Tifa looked up from her desk, eyebrows lifted as she looked toward Leon's closed office.

"Dammit…Hold still…Just—stop it." He sounded aggravated.

Curiosity peaked, Tifa stood and crossed the hall, opening his office door and poking her head in.

"What's going—" She couldn't finish as her jaw dropped.

Duke was busily sniffing the file cabinet against the wall of the office while Leon helplessly tried to get her to stand still. All of the questions of: Why is the dog at the office, where is the dog watcher, and how did you get her past security were all foregone in lieu of…

"What is she WEARING?" Tifa said, closing the door after herself lest anyone else see this embarrassment.

Duke was wearing a pink studded collar and what looked like a big purple doggie sweater with the word 'Diva' written in silver sequins on the back. She looked like she'd been bathed, brushed, and given a dog version of a mani/pedi. And she smelled like scented shampoo…lilacs maybe?

"Dogs do NOT wear clothes." Leon snarled, finally pinning Duke in place and working the horrid purple thing off of her.

The dog made a low noise in her throat and took the opportunity to lick his face silly.

Before Tifa could say anything else, the door opened and the teenage girl that Leon had allegedly hired to watch Duke during the day walked in, looking red faced.

"Sir, please, I was just taking care of her!" She said placatingly.

Leon kept his back to them, untying the pink collar from Duke's neck, grumbling to himself.

"What did you d-do?" Tifa said, clearing her throat to stop the giggles that were threatening to overpower her.

"I took her for a walk." The girl chattered, "Then to a doggie day spa and had her washed and brushed and her nails trimmed—"

Duke's tail was wagging wildly at all the attention while Leon pulled the rest of the sweater off.

"—the pink collar was free, but the wind picked up and she looked cold—" The girl argued.

"And dogs don't have natural insulation like FUR or anything…" Leon grumbled.

"It's a cute sweater!" The girl said. "And frankly, she looks like she could use more atten—"

Leon, still on his knees, turned around and glared across the room at her. Tifa touched the girl's shoulder.

"Oh, you should go." She warned, holding open the door.

"I was just trying to—"

"Dogs do not wear clothes." Leon was seething, his glare's effect ruined by Duke happily frolicking around him.

"Okay bye!" Tifa shuttled the girl out.

"Wait, do I still get paid—"

Tifa closed the door on the girl and looked back at Leon, who rubbed Duke's shoulders and looked at the dog.

"I am so sorry." He said flatly. "Never again. I promise."

Duke's tongue just lolled out of her mouth as she enjoyed the back rub.

"Aw." Tifa grinned. "I think she forgives you."

Leon gathered up the sweater and the collar and tossed them in the trash. "Is that lilacs?" He shook his head in disgust. "Never again."

Duke barked and promptly made herself comfortable on the floor of his office.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. ****I'm making a LeonxTifa community, for all works friendly and romantic about these two. Let me know if you find something to submit to the cause or want to be a staff member! It's called **_**Matters of the Hart**_**. Enjoy the ditties!**

**..:-X-:..**

**067 – In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle**

Now this was bizarre.

Tifa doubted a handful of people had ever seen this.

This definitely destroyed the 'Leon is a robot' theory.

Apparently not even the mighty Leon could work for 48 hours straight and keep trucking.

It looked like he'd just barely landed on the couch, sprawled the length of it in what looked like the most uncomfortable position imaginable, legs hanging off the end, one arm hanging off the seat, the other swallowed in the cushion of the backrest…out like a light.

Oh, a nap sounded good right now, she pondered, looking at her watch. She had to clock in for patrol in fifteen minutes. She glanced back to Leon. Lucky bastard. She pulled her boots on and tied them hastily, picking up her keys.

For pure precaution, she leaned over the back of the couch and…yeah, he was still breathing at least…even if it did look like he was in a coma, and by the weird angle, he was going to have one mother of a crick in his neck when he woke up.

Fighting a yawn, she stepped out of the apartment and quietly closed and locked the door after herself.

"Lucky bastard." She hung her head, tiredly trudging to Headquarters.

**..:-X-:..**

**068 – Threat**

Leon could see the smoke from five blocks away, and by the time he got to the apartment building, the black smoke was gushing out of the third floor. Fire crews were battling the flames and the police had roped off the area. The words 'bomb', 'assassination', and 'killed' floated around him as he maneuvered through the gawking crowd and around the ambulance, where paramedics were waiting.

Sure, he and Tifa weren't the most popular people in the Alliance at the moment, seeing as they weren't completely brainwashed by the General, but he hadn't thought it was so bad that someone would attempt to—

"Looks like the blast originated in apartment 324." An officer was saying.

Small relief. His and Tifa's apartment was 314. Someone had still been bombed, however, and that made his gut churn. More so the fact that he couldn't find—

Barking made him skid slightly on his feet, swiveling around and finding the source: Duke bouncing on her forelegs, leashed to the sidewalk bench where Tifa was sitting. They both looked okay, no blood or bandages or burns that he could see from this distance.

For a brief moment, the relief overloaded his mental processes and he bent over, grabbing his knees to keep himself from keeling over. Re-gathering himself quickly, he jogged over to the bench. Tifa looked despondent, in shock probably. Duke just looked anxious at all the chaos and commotion.

"Hey." He said, breathless as he reached them.

Tifa looked up at him, eyes impossibly wide. "If the…I took Duke for a walk…Left not five minutes…before…" She gave a half-gesture to the smoking building.

Adrenaline making him twitchy, he sank onto the bench beside her, absently scratching under Duke's jaw as the firefighters worked to put out the flames.

"Thank the gods for that." He muttered, "I'm glad you're okay."

She made a weak noise and dropped her head to his shoulder, emotionally spent. Ditto, he thought, watching the smoke begin to fade as it stretched further away from the building.

**..:-X-:..**

**069 – Impatience**

Tifa brought the Gummi in low, well within sky-diving distance from the battle zone where the Heartless were outside of town. Gripping the steering gears tightly, she glanced back into the hold to Leon, who had slid the door open and was eying the zone with a frown.

"There's gotta be at least two thousand down there." She called back over the wind rushing past the open hold.

"My money's on closer to three." He replied.

"Harper and Cooper's squads are just North of here." She relayed the information. "They can handle the perimeter closest to the town if we want to—What are you doing?"

He had moved to the other wall, rummaging through the open cargo hatch and didn't answer her.

Shifting the headphones on her head, Tifa snatched up the radio on the console and held down the receiver.

"This is Lockhart, calling green unit."

"Green unit, standing by, ma'am." Harper's low-pitched voice answered.

"Hot spot outside Radiant Garden. Between two and three thousand uglies running around."

"Walker's red unit is mobilizing already. We'll join them."

"Walker?" Lieutenant Walker was supposed to be patrolling the town interior. "Where's Cooper's gold unit?"

"Patrol." Harper answered.

"Fine, whatever, just get two units over here to cover the perimeter until—"

She nearly dropped the radio as she saw Leon jump out of the open hold of the Gummi. Her breath caught in her throat. Had he just—Was he insane? Then she saw the chute strapped to his back as he shrunk from view, descending rapidly toward the sea of Heartless.

He WAS insane.

"Ma'am? Brigadier General Lockhart—" Harper was saying over the radio.

Tifa regained herself and spoke into the receiver, "Just get your asses over there."

She hung up the radio and jammed it back in the rack, turning the Gummi around to slide over the skyline again, squinting through the windshield as Leon, chute ballooning out, drifted toward the Heartless. Would it REALLY have been too much to just wait the two minutes until reinforcements showed up? Honestly.

"Show off." She grunted, taking the Gummi to land on the other perimeter.


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Hank, Harper, and Cooper are mine as well. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**070 – Paint**

"What did you do to the wall?" Leon asked as soon as he walked in.

Tifa glanced over at him. "The little blotches I got from the store didn't help, so I thought I'd get a better visual if I did a few test strips."

"Why?" He closed the door and frowned.

She set the paintbrush down. "Because it makes it look more lived in."

"What's wrong with the color it is now?"

"It's beige. I'm sick of beige." Tifa grimaced. "We've lived here for a year and we're still barely out of the moving boxes. So…" She gestured to the wall. "Preference?"

The three lanes she'd painted on the wall were green, blue, and red. It was a splash of color among the otherwise boring and dull colors of the apartment. Leon looked over the colors with a less-than-enthused expression and shrugged.

"Up to you."

Tifa sighed and rolled her eyes. "Can you at least pretend to be interested?"

"No." He replied flatly. She huffed and he looked at her. "It's paint, Tifa. Do whatever you want."

"Oh, loosen up." She made an arm gesture, forgetting about the other wet brush in her hand.

Blue paint flew off the fibers and sprinkled across the front of Leon's shirt. She stilled her hand and he looked down, looking back at her with an annoyed expression.

"You did that on purpose." He said flatly.

"Well, you deserved it." She scoffed. "What are you doing?"

He had picked up a paint brush and slowly dipped it into the green paint. Without a word, he lifted it up.

"Wait…Put that down…" She took a step back.

He flung the paint off the brush at her and she yelped, throwing her brush at him.

"That was uncalled for!"

Within minutes, the walls were painted…as well as the floor and the furniture.

**..:-X-:..**

**071 – Less Than Subtle**

"Of course not. That's gotta be against the rules."

"Screw the rules, Hank; it's plain as naked day." Harper said, puffing lightly on her cigarette. "They've got the hots for each other."

The third recruit shook his head, "You're both nuts. I don't see it."

Hank and Harper looked sideways to Cooper like he was an idiot. Hank shifted. "Doesn't matter. It's against the rules."

Harper rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and they've really gone by the rules so far."

"Shit, look alive." Cooper snapped.

All three soldiers shot to their feet as their commanding officer approached.

"Bored?" Major General Leonhart looked them over.

"No, sir."

"No, sir."

"No, sir, we were just—"

"I know what you were doing." He nodded toward the Great Maw. "Three miles."

"But, sir—"

"Four." He cut Cooper off.

"Yes, sir." All three recruits hefted their weapons up and started the drill.

They had just started running the laps when Hank glanced over at his comrades.

"I think I see it now."

"Five." Leon called after them, tired of their screwing around.

**..:-X-:..**

**072 – She Who Holds her Tongue**

Tifa kept a wary attention on the sea witch, though her appearance didn't quite fit the description that Ariel and Triton had given her. Purple, plump, octopus…The woman facing her didn't fit that at all. She looked…more like Tifa: human, dark hair, fair skin.

"I can give you whatever you want." Her voice was too soft, magically-manipulated kind of soft.

"No thanks." Tifa kept her fists raised.

"Are you sure?" Ursula cocked one hip, arms folded provocatively. "Because I've heard of you, Miss Tifa Lockhart, and I know there are oceans of things that you could want back."

"Well, who says I'm supposed to get what I want?" Tifa narrowed her good eye.

Ursula chuckled, still wearing the features of a normal human. "It can be small. Your eye perhaps?"

Tifa's fists tightened as the witch's eyes fixed on the eye patch covering the empty socket where Tifa's left eye had been a year before.

"Pass." Tifa hissed, preparing to attack.

"What about loverboy?" Ursula's words gave her pause.

"What?" She stammered before she could stop herself. "You can do that?"

Ursula's smile twisted the sweet face unpleasantly. "I fortunately know a little magic."

Tifa breathed evenly. "You know enough to bring a man back from the dead?"

"Good as new, not a hair missing from that spiky, blond head." Ursula offered.

"Not…not interested." Tifa said firmly.

"Oh really?" Ursula looked mildly surprised, but her smile was mocking. "Found someone else, have you? Replaced one pretty boy with another?"

Tifa tensed. "No."

This sea witch was walking on dangerous ground, and they both knew it, but she pressed anyway.

"You really think HE would give up this opportunity to bring HIS girl back? You think he's replaced this—" Ursula gestured to the magically-altered body. "—with you?" She cackled loudly.

Tifa gritted her teeth, "And who exactly are you supposed to look like?"

Ursula put her hands on her hips. "You naïve child. Rinoa Heartilly cannot be replaced by the likes of you." She laughed darkly. "You're too broken, too damaged. He wouldn't choose you over her."

Tifa's eyes widened slightly. She'd never known what Rinoa looked like. She'd only barely ever heard of her; Leon wasn't one to chatter about those he lost. Her breath rattled past her teeth for a moment and she flexed her jaw.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." She said and jumped into the air, attacking the sea witch without further preamble.

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 070**: Maybe a tad OOC on Leon's part, but…for the sake of fluff, I had to do it.

**A/N 072**: Inspired after listening to Poor Unfortunate Souls: the Disney-version, not the eff-ed up mess the JoBros recorded and called a song. Bleh.


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. This chapter reached random level 8, I believe. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**073 – Babysitting**

When the sound of a baby's crying reached Leon's office, both Leon and Tifa looked at each other with the same expression that said: did you hear that too? They both stood and walked to the hallway, peering through the door toward the lobby office at the end of the hall.

"McCallister?" Leon barked first, going down the hall.

Curious, Tifa followed as the baby's crying continued.

Private McCallister was working at her desk, but the baby carrier and the infant having a fit inside it were definitely out of place. The soldier looked up with impossibly wide and panic-stricken eyes at having been found out. Her eyes darted from Leon, to Tifa, and back to Leon.

"McCallister, what is this?" Leon said, pointing to the child in the carrier.

"A…a baby, sir."

"And does this look like a daycare?" He said, gesturing to the office around them.

Tifa bent down slightly, making a face at the child to try and make the baby boy laugh. This did not work as the infant only hollered more intensely.

"No, sir, but I thought—" McCallister seemed to hesitate, "—I mean, sir…you allow Duke—"

"She doesn't scream like this." He grimaced as Tifa took the baby out of the carrier, holding him and bouncing him up and down…again, this did not help.

McCallister looked flustered, "But, sir…His mother is my friend and she had an emergency…No babysitters were available…I was her last hope…"

Tifa frowned, having no luck with the baby, and made to offer him to Leon. Leon stealthily slid a few steps away and Tifa sighed, hugging the baby close again and attempting to placate him.

"Well…why do you...get to allow a dog but I can't…babysit here?" McCallister looked like she was fighting for every word against her internal turmoil at talking back to her superior.

"Because I'm me and you're you." Leon said, looking more annoyed than actively irritated.

The office quieted. All of them looked to the baby, who was momentarily quiet and then began to cry again. Leon and Tifa exchanged a look and then he turned back to McCallister.

"If you can't calm him down and keep him quiet—"

The baby stopped crying again and again they all looked at him. And again, he resumed crying.

Leon rolled his eyes, "If you can't, then you'll have to—"

Quiet. Look. Crying again.

"I think…it's you." Tifa mused aloud, looking from the baby to Leon. "Say something." She said as the baby started crying again.

"What?" Leon blinked, "No, just…McCallister, this isn't—"

As soon as he started talking, the baby stopped crying.

"He likes you!" Tifa chirped, too amused at the situation. "Do it again."

"What?" Leon's face was priceless.

"Keep talking. He won't cry if you're talking." Tifa held the baby out.

"No!" Leon turned and marched out of the office.

Tifa and McCallister exchanged looks and then both walked after him, baby in tow.

"Just say something! Read the phone book! Recite a poem!"

"No!"

"Oh come on!"

**..:-X-:..**

**074 – Dangle**

"Looks like you have a problem." Leon sounded smug, looking down at her from the top of the cliff.

Hanging on a rope twenty feet below the top of the cliff, Tifa was as far from the mood for this kind of contemptuous banter as humanly possible.

"Are you going to help me or not?" She snapped.

"And you call me grumpy." He stood, looking in mock-deep thought. "How to go about this…"

"I am HANGING off a CLIFF!" Tifa yelled. "Just help me!"

"Have you tried climbing?"

"Leon, I swear to GOD I am going to KILL you!"

"That's no way to talk to your rescuer."

"Rescu—I don't NEED your help! It's just…rude of you not to help—"

"You mean like a damsel in distress thing?"

"You did NOT just call me a dam—"

"All right, all right." He said, kneeling down and gripping the rope. As though on second thought, he stopped and looked down at her again. "So what exactly does that make you?"

He was just TRYING to be difficult now, and Tifa did not appreciate.

"Oh, if you don't shut up and help me this instant, I'm telling everybody that you have a tiny penis!" She yelled.

He blinked, "And why would they believe you?"

"You carry a sword that is a gun that is over five feet long! What the Hell do you want a sword that big for unless you're compensating?" She snarled.

He looked like he'd been slapped. "It's still a lie—"

"Oh my god, Leon, I don't care about your penis, just get me off this damn cliff!"

He gave her a look of sheer loathing and started pulling the rope, grumbling something about her being an uncivilized, inappropriate monkey.

**..:-X-:..**

**075 - Clique**

Tifa walked into the apartment and unceremoniously tossed her keys onto the table, letting out a frustrated huff. Leon had the gunblade in five different pieces on the coffee table and looked up when she walked in.

"What's wrong?" He asked, accurately reading her 'I need to slap somebody' face.

She made a low whining noise and slumped into the recliner. "Is something wrong with me?"

Oh crap. She was in THAT mood. Leon set down the piece he'd been cleaning and straightened.

"No." He answered quickly. "What makes you say that?"

Tifa was staring at the corner of the table, pondering her thoughts, and then looked to him. "Do I just deter people or something? Do I smell? Am I revolting?"

"Hardly." The corner of his mouth quirked.

She glanced over the dismantled gunblade. "Today I had to spend four floors' worth of an elevator ride with this group of women, chattering and gossiping and venting at each other. It was extremely annoying, but…I kind of…envied them."

"Why?" Leon lifted an eyebrow.

"I've never…had a group, a clique, or 'girlfriends' like that." She sighed. "I took martial arts. I ran a bar for a few years…not exactly amiga-material."

"So…are you upset about this or how am I supposed to be helping here?"

"I just…find a little odd that the closest thing I have to a group of girlfriends is you." She looked at him flatly.

Leon just stared at her. She groaned and covered her eyes with one arm. "What is wrong with me?" She said, voice muffled by her arm.

He ran a hand over his face and got back to cleaning the gunblade. "You're strange."


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**076 – Defense**

Tifa saw Leon hit the wall, heard the loud crack as his head slammed back, and only hoped it wasn't his neck breaking. She ducked to avoid the Heartless Guard Armor's fists as they swung around the empty construction district of Radiant Garden. The Opposite Armor was still stomping around, over half of its health left, according to her last scan spell.

She punched through the center body of the Guard Armor and sent it spiraling away. While it reoriented itself, she saw Leon slump down the wall, hopefully just unconscious. The Opposite Armor had locked onto him and was smashing its way over to finish him off.

Dammit, of ALL the times to be double teamed…

Dropping her shoulder and rolling to avoid the Guard Armor's feet, she sprang to her feet and dove forward, ending up by Leon's body. Two fingers to the neck let her know he was still alive and she got only a split second of relief before the Opposite Armor launched a reverted foot forward.

There was no way she could block that or get them both out of the way. Glancing around, she reached out and, in one fluid motion, grasped the handle of the gunblade, dragged it off the ground, and swung it baseball-style against the incoming foot.

The blade cut cleanly through the Heartless' limb and nearly ripped Tifa's shoulder out of socket. She swung through and let the momentum and the weight of the weapon bring it back to the ground. Springing back to her feet, she nudged her boot against Leon's ribs.

"You alive?" She said, watching the Guard Armor and Opposite Armor regather themselves for another strike.

Leon groaned and started to come around. Not fast enough. Grunting, she whipped a Hi-Potion off of her belt and popped the cork out.

"You can have a concussion later." She said, handing the bottle to him as the Heartless attacked with fresh gusto.

**..:-X-:..**

**077 – Aye, Aye**

As the last of the bandaging came away, Tifa tilted her head as she inspected her reflection in the mirror. The skin and tissue had finally healed completely, and bright pink and white lined scars painted a horrific picture from her left eye almost back to her ear, causing an unnatural recession in that section of her hairline.

Her left eyelid was lame, closed over the useless socket. Her eye had healed, but the wounds and the scarring had robbed her of half of her vision. It had taken weeks to adjust to the depth perception change, and combat training had been humiliating and hellish, but she was making progress.

Drawing a slow breath, she pulled her hair back and looked at the length of the scarring. The shrapnel from the attack had nearly peeled her scalp off. She was lucky to be alive; she couldn't mind the scars compared to the alternative.

Still, considering that a lot of her job had her around civilians and children, it might have a negative shock value if she was walking around flaunting her battle scars. This mess of flesh around her eye wasn't the mysterious, alluring kind of scar Leon had. Frowning slightly, she picked up the eye patch that Dr. Leng had given her after her last check up on her eye…as a less-than-subtle suggestion.

Feeling curious and more than a little ridiculous, she stretched the elastic band around the back of her head and settled the patch over her eye. It was larger than she'd expected and covered all of the scarring, even the stuff that stretched into her hairline. Brushing her hair out of the way, she took a step away from the mirror to get a better visual.

It wasn't hideous.

She'd seen worse attempts to hide a scar.

No, she wasn't 'hiding' anything. She wasn't ashamed or embarrassed by this. She just refused to wave the scars around in everyone's face like she was some sort of war hero with an angsty tale.

Deciding to try it out for a day, she walked out of her bathroom, through her bedroom, and into the main living area of the apartment. It seemed like she'd barely stepped out when Leon walked past, late for some meeting or other.

"Shiver me timbers." He greeted, not skipping a beat as he reached the door to leave.

"Oh shut up." She called after him, dropping on the couch.

Duke lifted her head from her spot on the recliner, ears perked. Tifa sighed and looked at the dog.

"Do I really look like a pirate?"

Duke just put her head back down, licking her nose.

"I was afraid of that."

**..:-X-:..**

**078 - Wedding Part One**

"Will you at least consider it?"

"No."

"Leon, you're being a selfish ass."

"And you're not?"

Tifa scoffed. "You're going."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going alone."

"Why are you going at all?"

"Andrea and I had a falling out about a year ago. We've hardly spoken since. I'm tired of losing friends by force, so I'm trying to save the ones who are still alive." She groaned.

"And just showing up at her wedding is going to magically mend matters?" Leon quirked an eyebrow.

"She will never speak to me again if I ignore the invite to her WEDDING." Tifa grimaced, sinking onto the couch. "And if I show up alone, she'll give me the pitiful, 'oh, still not found Mr. Right?' face and I will slap her and we're back to square one."

Leon gave her a flat look. "So you want to pretend that we're going out to be spared a condescending moment at your ex-friend's wedding?" He shook his head, "Women."

Tifa pointed at him threateningly. "You WILL be my arm candy for this. You owe me."

"I don't owe you anything."

"Traverse Town."

"…You're calling in THAT favor for a wedding?" He looked incredulous.

"Yes. I. Am." She enunciated obviously.

"You're losing respect points for this." He said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah." She tutted.

He sighed and hung his head. "Fine." He straightened and glared at her, "But I am NOT wearing a suit."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Right."

"Thanks."

"Hmph."

(…to be continued…)


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**079 – Ballpit**

Tifa could hardly contain her laughter as she quickly turned on her camera and turned the dial to video recording. She lifted the device just in time to catch Leon sinking knee-deep into the ballpit. Halfway across the sea of plastic balls, Duke was barking and flapping around wildly, biting at the little spheres and wriggling back forth in ballpit-induced glee.

"Duke, c'mere." Leon was trying to use his stern, I-am-your-boss-listen-to-me voice, but it was a moot effort as he trudged through multi-colored balls in a child's play pit.

Duke, for her part, just barked and continued to hop around, making it difficult for him to reach her. Tifa held her sides with one arm as she kept both man and dog in her sights on the recorder.

"Leon…Leon, look over here!" She jeered, wanting a shot of his face.

"Duke…Duke, I'm serious…" He grunted, shoving waves of spheres aside to reach the dog.

He tripped once and nearly disappeared under the sea, much to Tifa and apparently Duke's amusement. He re-surfaced right beside the dog and without further preamble scooped the grown retriever in both arms, hefting her out of the pit and trudging back toward the entrance.

Tifa was on her knees, putting every effort into keeping the camera from shaking as she howled with laughter. She could hardly breathe as she watched Leon fight through the ballpit carrying the 70 pound Duke, who was panting and licking his face like he was her hero.

"Bad dog." He grunted, setting her down outside the pit before climbing out himself.

"I got all of it." Tifa wheezed, laughing so hard she snorted.

The kids who had evacuated when Duke invaded the ballpit were fawning all over the dog on the sidewalk now, and Leon looked at his dog with a look of disdain. Duke just barked at him. He shook his head and looked to Tifa, who was still filming. Rolling his eyes, he walked away from her.

Tifa turned off the recorder and got her breathing back under control, winking at Duke. "Good dog."

**..:-X-:..**

**080 – Wheels**

"WHAT is THIS?" Leon sounded flatly surprised…a combination all his own.

Tifa jerked in surprise, the top of her head involuntarily smacking into the hood of the Jeep she had been working on. Pulling herself out from the sooty, oily engine, she looked sideways to see Leon standing a few feet off from the vehicle, arms folded, one eyebrow lifted.

"It's my new Jeep." She announced proudly, clinking her ratchet against the top of the carborator.

"A 'Jeep', maybe. 'New', Hell no." Leon gave the vehicle a scathing look. "Why?"

"Oh, please. It takes half an hour to walk to the old castle ruins, and there's not exactly a view."

"So you're lazy."

"No, I'm being time-efficient. A vehicle is a practical purchase for a woman in my job position."

"Oh dear gods, you paid actual MUNNY for this piece of sh—"

"Hey!" Tifa snapped, pointing the ratchet threateningly at him. "Once I get it up and running, you'll be sorry."

"It doesn't even RUN? Not surprised." He said dismissively.

"Fine, Mr. Pedestrian, you don't get a key for it."

He sighed, "This is going to be another ugly couch thing isn't it?"

"Don't hate on my couch." Tifa said.

"It looks like you stole it from the dumpster behind a crackhouse."

"Do you have a purpose for being out here or do you just enjoy insulting everything I own?"

He looked at the open engine. "I don't even remember. This…abomination distracted me."

"Oh, just go away with your negativity." She tutted, leaning back over the engine.

After a beat, he walked over beside her and reached forward, poking at the cables connecting the battery…well, at one point they had been cables. Now they were about 70 percent duct tape. Tifa grunted and shoved his shoulder.

"My Jeep, my business. So shoo." She got back to work.

**..:-X-:..**

**081 – Take Cover**

After the meeting she had just survived at the hands of the Council, Tifa was ready to lock herself in her office until this stupidity-induced headache went away. Grimacing, she closed her office door and staggered over to her desk.

Said headache turned instead into an almost-heart attack as she rounded her desk and nearly tripped on Leon, who was sitting on the floor behind her desk, out of sight from the door.

"Geez…What the Hell?" She recovered her balance, stepping over his out-stretched legs and whacking him across the top of the head. "What are you…are you hiding?"

"Yes." He replied shamelessly as she plopped into her chair. "Nestor is looking for me."

Tifa snorted, turning on her computer monitor. "And you're hiding…from him?"

"No." Leon didn't look up at her, thumbing through a file folder instead. "I'm not in the mood for his crap right now. And it would be frowned upon if I stabbed him in the heart in the middle of the hallway."

She nodded. "I see your point."

A canine bark sounded from Leon's office.

"Is that—" She pointed.

"In case Nestor looks for me in there." He commented.

"But…Duke is a marshmallow, not an attack dog."

"Then I hope she loves him to death." He muttered.

"You're a cruel man, forcing that adorable dog to endure that asshole."

He wordlessly reached over and held down the height adjuster lever on her chair. The seat dropped six inches and she ended up with her shoulders level to the top of her desk.

"And you wonder why you have no friends besides me." She snapped, fixing the chair.

"Hmph." He grunted, just as a knock came to Tifa's door.

Nestor didn't wait for a reply before opening it. "Brigadier General Lockhart, have you seen Major General Leonhart?"

Leon looked like a perfect eight year old by the way he ducked under her desk. Tifa shoved her boot into his ribs as revenge and he punched her calf in reciprocation.

"And why would I know where he is?" She asked lightly.

Nestor gave her an annoyed look. "Because if you're Thing One, he's Thing Two. So?"

She gave a long-suffering sigh. "Have you checked his office?"

Seeing a lost cause, Nestor rolled his eyes and left with a huff.

"What an ass." She glared at her door.

Leon leaned back, peering to make sure Nestor was indeed gone. "Thanks."

A crazy bout of barking erupted from Leon's office, along with a startled cry from Nestor and footsteps running down the hall. Tifa quirked an eyebrow.

"Nestor's afraid of dogs?"

"Well, less afraid," Leon said, not making any motion to get up. "and more allergic."

"Nice." Tifa bobbed her head, "You have gained the right to hide in here."

He rolled his eyes and opened the file folder again to resume whatever he'd been doing.


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Andrea is mine too. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**082 – Panic Attack**

One second Tifa was fine, but the next, all the color had fled from her face and her eyes were impossibly wide. Leon did a little double-take at the transformation and gripped her shoulder.

"Tifa?" He asked, startled at the unexpected panic in her eyes.

"Dizzy." She choked out, doubling over.

"Whoa, hey, easy." He kept his hold on her arm, letting her lean forward to grip her knees.

"What's—" She gasped, hyperventilating.

It looked like a random panic attack had gripped her. Leon couldn't figure out what had triggered it, but she looked on the verge of throwing up.

"I need—down—" She managed.

"Okay." He helped her ease onto the couch, where she leaned forward, elbows on her knees.

He awkwardly sat beside her. Anxious perspiration had broken across her forehead and he grunted, picking up the bottle of water and unscrewing it.

"Sorry." Tifa babbled, trembling as she tried to stop overbreathing.

"You're all right." Leon offered, turning the bottle of water over a nearby hand towel and holding the towel against the back of her neck. "Relax and try to breathe through it."

"Never—had a—panic attack—before." She stammered.

"It'll pass." He studied her face for a moment. "In and out. In and out."

She reached up and took the towel from her neck and held it to her face. He gave her knee a light squeeze, keeping contact to anchor her to reality.

"In." He offered, and she inhaled with him. "Out."

She exhaled in a rush and coughed lightly. "Sorry." She apologized again.

"It's okay." He shook his head. "Just in and out."

He repeated the litany and just sat with her until her breathing came back under control.

**..:-X-:..**

**083 – I Scream, You Scream**

Rain was lashing against the windows. Thunder was rumbling through the walls. The power had been out in the apartment for two hours. All they had for light was a few candles. And Duke would not stop howling.

"Duke, shut up!" Leon grumbled for the umpteenth time.

"She's scared. Dogs typically don't like storms." Tifa said, trying to eat all the ice cream from the fridge before it all melted.

"It's just thunder." Leon kept talking to the dog. "It's not going to hurt you."

Duke just howled louder.

"And she doesn't understand your fancy human talk." Tifa talked around a mouthful of rocky road.

Leon glared from across the candlelit coffee table at her and lifted up the carton of ice cream she'd roped him into helping her eat before it melted. "What could one woman possibly need three gallons of ice cream for?"

Tifa turned her chin up at him. "Emergencies."

He rolled his eyes and dropped the carton to the coffee table, mumbling something about not even liking ice cream as he got up and walked over to Duke, who was barking madly at the window.

"C'mere." He hooked his fingers under her collar, tugging her toward the couch. "If you hate the storm so much, why are you staring out the window at it?"

"Because she is a dog and therefore does not know any better." Tifa said, pointing with her spoon. "Now finish up that vanilla ice cream before it melts."

Leon gave her a lax expression and promptly set the carton in front of Duke, who sniffed at it and was interrupted from her howling as she started licking at the ice cream. He dropped back into the recliner and gave Tifa a smug look.

Tifa stuffed her spoon in the rocky road and shoved it at him. "Fine, then you can finish THIS one while I get started on the strawberry ice cream."

He groaned but took it, glaring daggers at her as she fetched the strawberry and started in on it.

It wouldn't be until a thousand calories and a belly ache later that Tifa would get the gumption to tease him about their 'dinner by candlelight', regardless of how unconventional it was.

**..:-X-:..**

**084 - Wedding Part Two**

"There she is." Tifa fidgeted as the bridal party arrived to the reception hall.

"Duh, she's the bride." Leon said sarcastically.

"Watch the attitude." She quipped, tapping on the table where they were sitting.

"Hey, YOU dragged ME here, which means I get to be as surly as I want." He grumbled.

"Fine, fine, surly away." She said, watching Andrea but not moving.

Leon looked from Tifa, to the bride, and back to Tifa. "So…are you apologizing via telepathy?"

"Shut up." She said, voice tight. "I hate apologizing. Especially when it wasn't my fault." She sounded like she was steeling herself for this reunion.

Leon sighed and sat back, glancing toward this Andrea person. "What did you two have this big fight about?"

"I don't want to talk about it." She said tersely.

"Oh, well, then good luck smoothing things over by beating around the bush." He rolled his eyes.

"Tifa Lockhart, is that you?"

"Oh crap…" Tifa muttered as she stood. "Andrea, hi!"

"My gosh, it's so good to see you!" Andrea squealed, pulling Tifa into a hug.

"Nice to see you too." Tifa awkwardly hugged her back. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you so much! Richard is my knight in shining armor!" Andrea flitted a hand to her heart in a way that made Leon absolutely nauseas.

"That's wonderful." Tifa sounded equally disturbed.

"How have you been? Found anyone…new?" There was a bizarre pause at the end of that.

"Er—" Tifa stammered.

"Oh, well, you're focusing on your career." Geez, this woman was a piranha.

"Actually, I'd like you to meet Leon." Tifa gestured, conveniently leaving out the 'just a friend' bit.

Andrea looked shocked. "Really? Oh…Nice to meet you." She smiled…the perfect fake.

Leon offered a corner-of-the-mouth smirk. "Same here."

Why Tifa felt the urge to reconcile with this woman, he would never know.

Leon watched her as she and newly named Mrs. Lookit-My-Expensive-Dress started that awkward make-up conversation. As the two women took a few steps away from the main party to have their moment, he sighed and glanced around the crowd.

"I'll just…wait here then." He muttered to no one in particular.

This was NOT worth the Traverse Town favor he owed her.

(…to be continued…)

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 084**: Inspired by life. I went to several weddings this past year, and oh my applesauce, if I am asked one more time if I have a boyfriend, I will squirt lemon juice in someone's eye.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**085 – Rearrange**

"I found the problem." Leon said, standing beside Tifa as they both stared at the disarray state of the living room.

"Oh?" Tifa replied, scoping out the room and trying to figure out for herself why the room looked so anti-symmetrical regardless of the furniture arrangement.

"This." He patted the top of her couch.

"Oh please." She rolled her eyes. "You are just determined to hate my couch."

"You are just determined to like it enough to drive me insane."

"You were fully aware of the couch in the roommate agreement."

"It looks like vomit."

"You look like vomit."

"Nice comeback."

Duke shimmied out from under the coffee table and jumped onto the couch, curling up on it.

"Ha, majority rules." Tifa chuckled. "Couch stays."

Leon looked in betrayal down at the dog, who just let her tongue loll happily.

**..:-X-:..**

**086 – Interview**

The reporter looked like a walking ad for cosmetic surgery and that "I'm being polite so you'll tell me everything" kind of face. Leon wasn't biting at the bait.

"Now, the 10 percent increase in funding toward reconstruction in Radiant Garden. You were a great advocate for this allocation, correct?" She asked.

Leon hated these one-on-one, sit-down interviews, but PR had hit an all-time low and if the Alliance didn't get any good face-time with the populace, things were only going to get worse.

"Yes." He replied, keeping his eyes away from the intruding cameras hovering around them.

"Now, why would you focus so much energy on only one Allied system?"

"Radiant Garden is the epicenter of the Alliance. Headquarters are based here. The Council of Representatives is based here. Before improvements can be made to the rest of the Alliance's body, the heart of it has to be healthy." He chose his words carefully.

"And Radiant Garden happens to be your original home world, correct?" She attacked afresh.

"Yes." He said slowly.

"Now, did this fact have any pertinent relevance to the world being chosen as a base for the government?"

"Most of the original Council members were former Restoration Committee founders, so it made sense to convene where the majority was already located."

"So the Alliance's first Council was based in world-favoritism?"

No, you moron, it was logic, he thought, but replied with. "In no way. The Alliance takes equal stock of all the worlds under its protection."

"But you feel inclined to protect Radiant Garden more vehemently."

"Yes." He wanted to get this over with already. "You would feel inclined to protect your heart over your hand, wouldn't you?"

"Are the other worlds so trivial to you?"

Twisting every single one of his words into something ugly. Typical. He didn't respond.

"And what is your relationship with Brigadier General Tifa Lockhart?"

His eyes snapped back to the reporter before he could stop himself. "I don't see the relevance of that question to this interview."

"You live together, correct? Could this relationship be outside of regulations?"

"Being friends with co-workers is outside of regulations now?" He said tersely.

"Of course not, but sources have implied that you two are—"

"What the Brigadier General and I are when outside of Allied matters is private and has no relevance in this interview." He said, irritated now.

"Are you evading the question?" She asked, sickeningly polite.

Leon clenched his jaw. "This interview's over. I'm done. If you can't ask intelligent questions, I'm not wasting my time listening to overactive gossip." He left without looking back.

**..:-X-:..**

**087 – Mother Hen**

Tifa closed the apartment door quietly as she returned from the store run.

"Couldn't find anything in Radiant Garden itself that looked like it would work, besides what we already have here. I swear, modern medicine the way it is, and there's still no cure for the common col—"

She was interrupted by the sound of violent hurling from the bathroom. She stopped in her tracks and grimaced. That didn't sound like the common cold. Leon had been out of it all day: swinging between sore and moody and tired and incoherent.

"Are you dying?" She asked, setting her keys down and crossing over to his closed room door.

"Probably." He sounded muffled and quickly started throwing up again.

Wincing, she turned the knob of the door and pushed it open. They'd never said it aloud before, but there was an unspoken rule: you stay out of my space and I'll stay out of your space. Tifa could honestly say this would be the first time she'd gone into his room for any reason.

His bathroom door was half open, exposing his top half bowing to the porcelain god as he expelled everything he'd eaten in the past week, it sounded like. His room was identical to hers, aside from the man element as opposed to her feminine touches, so she didn't waste time checking it out. Instead, she crossed to the bathroom door and poked her head in.

"How long have you been there?" She asked.

"How long have you been gone?" He retorted.

"Yikes." She lifted her foot and depressed the flush lever with her boot.

He hiccupped and groaned as the motion jarred his stomach. She unceremoniously, and before he could protest, slid the back of her hand against his forehead and found the skin feverish.

"Have you taken anything?" She prompted, taking her hand back and frowning.

Nausea abated momentarily, he sat back, face red from exertion. "No."

"Well, congratulations, it looks like you got the flu." She diagnosed.

"Wonderful, you can go now." He stood on wobbly knees and popped open the medicine cabinet.

"I'm just trying to help." She shrugged.

"I know, but I don't need the 'tend to the invalid' bit. I can take care of myself." He grumbled.

"Can, yes. Have to, no. I'm going to make soup."

"And that won't kill me?"

"Because you're sick, I won't smack you for that." She pointed. "It's from a can. I'm not really 'cooking' it."

"I'm not willing to risk it." He looked green at the thought. Well, green-ER.

She got out of his way. "Fine, fine, do the Manly Man Treatment. If for some wild reason 'rubbin' some dirt in it' doesn't work," She backed out of his bedroom. "I'll be here."

He waved her off, and she tutted, leaving him to his own devices.

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 085**: Another round of Leon versus the couch ends in despair for Leon. Tee hee.


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**088 – Maintenance**

Drawing a deep, bracing breath, Tifa depressed the nozzle on the hose, sending a jet of clear water over the rusted black hide of the motorcycle. Fenrir had been stewing in her own juices since being moved to the storage facility. It was shameful, really; Cloud would have killed Tifa if he knew…

She bit her lip hard as she hosed the bike down, blinking the tears back furiously as she soaked the sponge in the bucket of soapy water. She was armed with soap, wax, oil, and every kind of primer and shiner on the planet to make up for the neglect of the past several months.

Once upon a time, this machine had been Cloud's prized possession, his baby, his jewel. Now the mighty Fenrir was reduced to a keepsake, an ornament of emotional pain and memories. And now, with soap, Tifa was going to erase the last of his fingerprints from the dials and handlebars.

It almost made her sick to her stomach, but it was time. Today was the day she took that first step forward on her own. Steeling herself, she placed the sponge against the ebony hull and started scrubbing at the dust and the grime that had settled over it.

Three hours later, she hosed it off a final time, having taken a painstaking amount of time to make sure she cleaned it properly and thoroughly. The sunlight from the open door was dancing over the wet, black surface, and the polish made the wheel rims really pop. All of his fingerprints were gone and that was terrifying. She could never bring that evidence of his existence back…but the bike was still here.

And Fenrir really was a beautiful piece of machinery.

**..:-X-:..**

**089 – It Happens**

"There were no cleaning supplies or substances lying around that she could have gotten into." Leon rambled. "Except the oil I use on my weapons, but she knows better than to get into that."

The veterinarian lifted a hand. "Sir, this could have been caused by any number of things. Is your animal up to date on all of her immunizations and vaccinations?"

"What? Yes, yes, of course." He answered impatiently.

"Has she had any contact with another animal that could have been infected with something?"

"No…Wait, you think she has some disease? Rabies?" He stammered.

"We're not jumping to conclusions, sir. Please—"

A bark from the back room snapped Leon's attention away. "What are you doing back there? Is she okay? What are you doing to her?"

"We are running a few standard tests, but it looks like she did this herself."

"My dog is not freaking bulimic." He rolled his eyes.

"No, actually dogs will eat things like grass to make themselves throw up. It's a natural process they use to get rid of something they've eaten before digestion or for some other reason." The vet exchanged a look with the lab assistant, who nodded.

"What does that mean?" He pointed to the assistant. "Is that code for terminal?"

"Your animal is fine, sir." The vet assured. "Just like people, sometimes dogs just get an upset stomach. You can take her home any time."

Nerves still lit, he collected Duke and found her in better spirits than an hour ago, when she'd gotten sick all over the sidewalk. Embarrassed at how relieved he was, he scratched behind her ear.

"You're gross, you know that?" He said.

Her ears perked at his voice and she licked his hand, looking eager to get out of the vet's office.

Leon shared that sentiment and walked her back to the apartment.

**..:-X-:..**

**090 - Wedding Part Three**

"So…" Tifa started, feeling awkward.

"So…" Andrea mimicked. "Leon seems…nice."

"Oh," Tifa rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, he's…a piece of work."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Uh…about six months now." Technically sharing an apartment fit the broad definition of 'together'. She wasn't technically lying.

Tifa and Andrea stood apart from the main ballroom where the wedding reception was dancing and drinking and odd combinations of both. Tifa could barely see Leon, sitting where she'd left him and looking less than enthused about it. Just seeing him helped her relax a little.

"I'm glad you came." Andrea said. "I was afraid…The way we left things…"

"Right." Tifa fidgeted. "No way was I missing this. I'm glad you invited me."

"You're looking better."

"Thanks."

"It's almost been a whole year since…" Andrea trailed off.

"Since Cloud died, you can say it." Tifa said quietly.

"Well, yeah, but after last time…"

"Last time was a week after his death." Tifa tried to be gentle.

"You nearly jumped down my throat about it." Andrea looked defensive.

Oh, this was going downhill fast.

Tifa tried to recover the situation. "He was my best friend and he had just died—"

"You wanted a lot more than friendship from him."

Ah, there it was…the inevitable bitchiness was creeping back into Andrea's eyes.

"Andrea, that's not the point."

"That's exactly the point. You were too chicken to make a move on him, and when I did, you acted like I had betrayed you."

"You knew how I felt."

"But you never did anything about it. You must not have felt too strongly if—"

"If what?"

"If you moved on to another guy so quickly." Andrea said sharply. "Cloud died a year ago and six months later you're shacking up with Plan B?"

"I'm not 'shacking up'." Tifa shot back. "And Leon is not Plan B. You just got married to a man you barely know. You met Richard five months ago."

"With true love, you just know." Andrea said pompously.

"So what are you saying? Tell me to my face, Andrea." Tifa said, fists clenching at her sides.

"I'm just saying maybe there's a reason you have bad luck with love." Andrea spat.

Tifa's blood went cold. "What?"

"You loved Cloud. He wanted that Aerith chick. He dies, so you move on. Are you telling me this Leon guy doesn't have any unfinished romantic business?"

Tifa's hesitation was enough.

"You never knew how to pick your battles." Andrea said, "We all see it. Why can't you?"

And with that, Andrea left to return to her party, leaving Tifa stunned and confused in the empty hallway. So much for 'making nice'.

"No." Tifa took a step forward and grasped Andrea's arm just enough to make her stop. "You do not get to walk away in a self-righteous huff this time, Andrea."

(…to be continued…)

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 90**: Hm, a bit of a cliffhanger. Bwahaha-ack-cough, cough.


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister.**

**..:-X-:..**

**091 – Favors**

Leon had really soft hair, Tifa concluded. Like the kind you wanted to just run your hands through. She snickered to herself as she tried to imagine the horrified look on his face if she told him that.

"What are you doing?" He grumbled sourly.

"Just envious. You've got great volume. I'm jealous." She chuckled.

"That's it. You're fired." He started to move away.

Tifa grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. "All right, all right, I'm done. Just sit still and I'll make it quick." She brandished the scissors. "And you can't fire who you're not paying."

"I shouldn't have said anything." He grunted. "Should have just done it myself."

She laughed at that, "Good with a sword, yes, but with scissors you are not."

He glanced back at her hotly, but she just forcibly turned his neck back around so she was looking at the back of his head.

"Leon, you couldn't cut a straight line through paper. You'd just end up slicing your scalp open."

He just sulked and she grinned victoriously, resuming her self-appointed task of cutting his hair. He really looked like a shaggy dog. It was embarrassing. He'd caved easily enough, anyway. Must have figured she was more tolerable than anybody else.

"As for payment…" She teased.

"…what?" He said, sounding resigned to whatever bizarre odd job she'd blackmail him into.

"Well, there're always just sexual favors." She said jokingly, waiting for his reaction.

A beat passed.

"As opposed to what?" He said, going along with her humor.

"Fixing the engine on my Jeep."

Another beat.

"I'll think about it."

**..:-X-:..**

**092 – Defender**

Their captors had tied them up so that they were facing each other. So that one was forced to watch the other being tortured. It was a double-interrogation situation. Hurt one enough, either that one would spill or the other would.

Tifa could taste blood from where she'd bitten her lips as they worked Leon over. He had the highest pain tolerance of anyone she knew, but after the last hour and a half, the men in the masks had gotten creative and even gotten him to scream. Blood, broken bones, broken skin: it was nauseating.

Neither of them had said anything over the course of it, though it felt like Tifa had swallowed knives by the stabbing anger and guilt in her stomach. McCallister had to be tracking them down by their cell phones. They just needed to hold out until she brought a squad to kill these bastards.

The masked captors had moved away from Leon now, who looked three colors past out of his mind with pain, and they began to approach Tifa. She gritted her teeth and stared them down, wishing her mouth wasn't so dry so that she could spit on them.

"All right, now let's see what you look like on the inside, missy." One of them said lightly.

"Don't…" Leon spat out a mouthful of blood, only able to open one eye to glare at them. "Don't you touch her."

Tifa's jaw worked furiously and she wriggled against the chains binding her. "Sick bastards."

One of the two just grinned and let the tip of his knife trail down her cheek, over her throat, and across her collar, slowing putting more pressure on it…just enough to sting. She glared hatefully at them.

"I'll kill you." Leon snarled, looking pitiful and feral in the same breath. "If you…hurt her…I'll kill you all."

His threats were unnecessary as two slugs punched into the captors' skulls, dropping them like stones: announcing McCallister's arrival with reinforcements. Relief crashed over Tifa and she saw the same feeling make all of Leon's joints loosen. They both slumped in their tied-up positions.

As the soldiers fanned out to secure the area, Tifa kept her eyes on Leon, who was teetering.

"Hey…stay with me." She pleaded.

"…'kay." He groaned, because at this point, he couldn't deny her anything.

**..:-X-:..**

**093 - Wedding Part 4 **

Andrea shook off Tifa's grip. "What do you want from me, Tifa?"

"I just want you to listen, hear me out. I came to apologize and you seem determined to fight." Tifa said placatingly.

Andrea sighed, "I'm done trying to fight you, Tifa. You've never heeded my advice before. So I'm…I'm just done."

Tifa blinked. "Andrea, I didn't need advice. I just wanted you to listen. I'm not this damaged, tainted person you think I am. I spent all that time looking for Cloud because I was worried about him. He was a close friend and he was in trouble."

"You've got a hero complex, honey." Andrea tilted her head. "Cloud was a big boy who could take care of himself. You were just in denial that he didn't need you."

Her words stung and Tifa flexed her jaw.

"And you've always been like this." Andrea continued. "You seek out these guys who have eyes for some other girl, who don't need you, and you convince yourself that they do need you."

Tifa exhaled heavily. "No I don't."

There was no way she could possibly explain the Sephiroth-darkness-light-Cloud situation.

Andrea looked infuriatingly sympathetic. Tifa's temper flared.

"I don't!"

Her raised voice drew the attention of several guests inside the hall. Andrea glanced around, smiled at the people, and looked back to Tifa.

"Honey, you used to be one of my best friends, so please, take this last bit of advice." She said, dropping the condescension just long enough to say quietly. "Stop trying to be everyone's hero."

Then, without further comment, Andrea patted Tifa's arm and returned to her party. A rush of cooing and 'ooh's and 'ahh's accompanied her as the wedding party hailed their focal point bride.

Tifa stood alone in the hallway outside the ballroom, feeling humiliated and cheaper than she had ever felt. Andrea didn't know…Andrea had NO fucking IDEA what the situation was. Tifa did NOT chase after Cloud out of some ill-placed sense of heroism. Her feelings for Cloud had had nothing to do with her actions!

Then why did she feel so mortified?

(…to be continued…)

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 091**: Because putting Leon and Tifa in the most unlikely and weird situations is amusing.

**A/N 092**: I know I already did a Leon-gets-tortured one, but the situation itself is a little different, so…whatever. Shamelessly beating up Leon is fun too, what can I say?


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**094 – Birthday**

Leon walked into the apartment to find Tifa sitting on the floor where the horrid couch of hers usually was, working at the coffee table. She looked up as Duke went to attack him in greeting.

He quirked an eyebrow in question at the lack of couch, fending off the imminent face licking that Duke was trying to lay on him.

Tifa set her pen down and looked at him. "Did some rearranging."

He looked around, daring to hope. "Where's the abomination?"

"You mean my couch?" She said, stretching her arms. "Happy Birthday."

He blinked, "What?"

"I know how much you hated that couch, so I got rid of it for your birthday." She said, shrugging.

Suspicious, he glanced into either bedroom, but the couch wasn't hiding in there. "Really?"

"No." She chirped. "It's getting re-upholstered. Here." She tossed a small box at him.

Catching it, he popped open the lid to find a can of sword polish, the rare brand he liked. It had become increasingly hard to find lately. Best he could have asked for his birthday: which HE'd forgotten.

"Thanks." He said genuinely.

"Couch should be back next week." She chirped.

"Thanks." He replied sarcastically.

**..:-X-:..**

**095 – Sting**

"Ow." Tifa cringed, twitching.

"Hold still." Leon sounded annoyed.

"It hurts."

"It would stop hurting if you would stop moving."

"Well I'm sorry." Tifa said tersely. "Let's throw a bee-hive at you and see how YOU like it!"

"If I recall right, you kicked it…and thus had this coming." He said.

Tifa squinted her eyes closed, pushing her face into the couch cushion, and felt him dotting ointment on the multiple stings that were covering her back. Well, they covered her arms, legs, and back, but she couldn't reach these. It would have been embarrassing, but it was just Leon, so she couldn't bring herself to care too much.

"I didn't see it and if the Heartless hadn't moved…" She said, voice muffled by the cushion.

"Excuses." She heard him smirking and felt her face heat up.

She involuntarily flinched when he prodded at a particularly deep sting on her back. His hand stilled and she blew out a lungful of air, making her bangs flutter.

"Sorry." He'd dropped the teasing tone and when he resumed treating the stings, it was with a lighter touch than she would have thought possible from someone like him. It almost tickled.

When it felt like her entire back was covered with the medication, she felt his hand linger near the base of her ribs, one of the few places that wasn't completely covered in the angry little raised bumps. The back of his fingers felt cool, but were quickly retracted.

"There." He said, and she heard him stand up and step away from the couch.

She turned her face out of the cushion and looked at him. "Thanks."

Leon didn't look directly at her, tossing the tube back into the first aid box. The spot at the base of her ribs tingled and she looked away, feeling like she should say more but not seeing what that would be.

"Just…" Leon started, glancing at her and then away just as quickly. "Stop kicking things that buzz, huh?"

Tifa grinned and flashed him an 'okay' sign.

**..:-X-:..**

**096 – Replacement**

Tifa was heavier than she looked. She was also drunk, and they were both aware of that.

"M'sorry." She mumbled as they walked, leaning against Leon, eyes clouded and words slightly slurred.

Leon kept a hold of her, one of her arms over his shoulders, as he led her away from the table. The glass bottles were guiltily empty. Tifa had been a little…off…all day, but she normally didn't turn to the liquid relaxation unless she was just beyond herself.

"It's all right. Come on." He tugged her toward her room.

She mumbled something under her breath and he grunted, playing along. He walked her into her room and deposited her on the bed. She gave him a heavy-lidded look and slumped back onto the mattress. He gave a long-suffering sigh and pulled her legs up onto the bed. She was going to have a nasty hangover: it took a lot for her to get this drunk.

"Don't leave." Tifa mumbled, "Not again."

"I'm not leaving." He grunted. Again?

She stretched out on her stomach, hugging a pillow to her face. He saw that she was fading fast and turned toward the door to leave her in peace.

"Stay." She whispered.

He paused and looked back at her. Her eye was open a sliver, unfocused but aimed at him. He wasn't sure what possessed him to, but he stayed, closing the door to keep Duke from jumping on her. He glanced around, unsure why she wanted him to stay, but if…

"Cloud." She said softly, half asleep already.

And there it was.

Leon closed his eyes briefly, inhaling slowly and looking at her. Her eye was on him, but her gaze was beyond him.

"Don't leave." She lifted one hand a few inches off the bed.

Oh, she was going to be the death of him.

Leon sighed and returned to her side, though not taking her invitation to sit down. She didn't want him to leave, but Leon wasn't the 'him' she wanted to stay. But Cloud was gone, not coming back…That was probably what had spurred the drinking tonight. Well, he wasn't Cloud, but she'd just have to make do with second string.

"I'm not going anywhere." He assured her. "I promise."

She offered a drunken grin and promptly fell asleep.

He didn't leave.

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N**: Chapter 34 will be the last chapter. I have no idea how to wrap this up, so if you have a preference for the genre: action, hurt/comfort, friendship, romance, etc...Please submit it in a review!


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**097 – Need**

Leon was an introvert, an extreme one, and Tifa usually respected that, but this was just ridiculous. She couldn't read his mind, for goodness' sake!

"Whatever it was, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I didn't…What did I do?" She didn't understand what she could have possibly done to set him off this time.

Leon looked beside himself…well, in that deadpan way of his. "It's nothing. Forget it."

"No." Tifa side stepped in his way, not letting him run off that easily. "It had to be something."

He ran a hand over his face, "I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Too bad." He liked to play tough love, so she was going to give him a taste of it for once.

He shouldered past her. Having none of that, she grabbed his arm to stop him. Leon almost violently jerked his arm free and Tifa stepped back.

"I just…can't talk to you about this."

"To me? What does that mean 'to you'? Who else can you talk to?" Tifa walked after him. "Like it or not, you're stuck with me. You told me once that I'm all you've got and you're all I've got, but this can't work if you refuse to let me in."

"This—" He gestured between himself and her. "—is exactly what it should be."

Frustrated, she narrowed her eyes. "No, it's not. I need more than that. Friends don't shut each other out when things get shitty. And you need—"

"I don't NEED anything." Leon raised his voice half a notch. "I don't need the sharing, caring, hug-it-out crap. I don't need to talk about everything and I don't need you."

He said it quickly, like a blurted half-thought-out statement, but they both fell quiet all the same. She knew immediately that he hadn't meant it: the regret was plain as day in his eyes, but he had said it, and it had hurt. She wouldn't deny that.

Keeping a stiff upper lip, she breathed evenly. "Liar." She hissed, and left the room before the moisture behind her eyes betrayed her.

**..:-X-:..**

**098 – What's in a Name?**

Stars. The woman was chattering about STARS for the love of…Tifa was glad her back was turned to the two, otherwise her annoyance would have been too transparent. How Leon wasn't stabbing himself in the ears just for the blessing of deafness at this point was beyond her. Tifa couldn't concentrate and finally gave up, heading for the door, for an escape.

"I have to…go." She hastily excused.

Leon and Rinoa looked at her.

"Why?" He asked.

But Tifa was already out and had closed the door, alone in the hallway. She hung her head.

"Because she calls you Squall."

**..:-X-:..**

**099 – Wedding Concluded**

Leon waited a grand total of thirty seconds after Andrea's rejoinder to the party before standing and slipping out of the ballroom and into the hallway, which was completely vacant and devoid of any stragglers…except for Tifa.

She had kicked off her high heeled shoes against the wall and was pacing in small circles near the door, nibbling on her pinkie fingernail. Closing the door on the party room, he walked over to her.

"I take it that didn't go as planned?" He greeted with a flat expression.

She closed her eyes and kept pacing without looking at him. "Decidedly not."

Her voice shook at the end and he frowned. Had it been THAT bad?

"What happened?" He folded his arms, leaning against the wall and letting her pace.

"She…and it wasn't…I'm not…No matter what she says…He didn't…" She yammered in broken sentences, thoughts bouncing around in her good eye.

It would have been amusing if she wasn't so visibly upset.

"It can't have been that bad." He said laxly. "I don't see why you're so worked up. You can't win 'em all and not getting the obligatory holiday card from someone that full of herself shouldn't be—"

"Stop it." Tifa abruptly stopped pacing, arms stiff at her sides.

"Okay." He replied quietly, keeping a wary eye on her.

"I just…" She ran a hand over her face. "Everyone thinks they KNOW me. They judge me and she judges me and her friends judge me and I can't HANDLE it if you judge me too."

Leon straightened as Tifa's face crumpled and her voice broke. He closed the two meter gap between them and awkwardly put one arm around her. She almost imploded, dropping her face against his shoulder and surrendering to the sheer unfairness of it all.

"Hey." He said quietly, attempting the comforting thing. He patted her arm.

"I'm sorry." She croaked, voice muffled by his shoulder.

Completely out of his element, Leon kept the one arm around her, using his free hand to rub her arm. "It's…okay." He glanced around. "I'm the last person to judge you."

The hall was still empty, the sounds of laughter and clinking glasses and music coming from the closed doors to the ballroom. She let out a short snort at his words.

Leon leaned back slightly and she straightened, wiping at her eyes and only smearing her make-up worse. Tifa swallowed hard and chuckled ruefully.

"Geez, I'm…This is embarrassing." She half turned away, "The one night I wear mascara…"

He averted his eyes and let her have her moment to compose herself. He bent down and picked up her shoes for her.

"Let's get out of here, yeah?" He offered.

"Oh yes, definitely." She gave up trying to clean up her face and looked around for her shoes.

"I got them. Don't worry." He offered a small smirk.

She seemed to deflate, emotionally spent. "Thanks. I'm sorry for dragging you to this."

Leon opened the door and they escaped from the building. "Oh I still think you're a jerk."

"And you're still full of shit." Tifa ducked her head as they crossed the parking lot. "So about that Traverse Town favor…" She was trying to forget about the whole event now.

"No, no, this was it. You called it in. It's gone." Leon encouraged the banter.

"You're a terrible friend." She scoffed playfully.

"Yeah, I know."

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N 097**: 'I'm all you've got and you're all I've got' was taken from my one-shot _And This War's Not Over_, also Leon and Tifa centric.

**A/N 098**: Another exactly 100 word drabble. This one is a teaser of a full-length Leon and Tifa story I'm planning. Tease, tease.

**A/N**: Chapter 34 will be the last chapter. So far everybody seems to want more romance...hm...(strokes chin)...tis a possibility...I'll try to get the last chapter up before the weekend. You guys are awesome!


	34. Chapter 34

**Final chapter! Woohoo! This ditty is dedicated to everybody who read and reviewed this collection. You guys are awesome and you all get a lifetime supply of super special awesome potato casserole and my love.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!**

**..:-X-:..**

**100 – Only We Two in Blue**

**..:-X-:..**

_War makes you cling to people. _

_War rips away the people to which you cling. _

_War makes you cling to people you never thought you would. _

_Peace rips away the people you never thought you would love, but loved anyway._

**..:-X-:..**

Tifa opened the door to the apartment just in time to see Leon punch a hole in the wall to the left of her bedroom door, accompanied by a roared: "MOTHER FUCKER!"

…and that set the tune for the evening.

Papers looked like they had been violently thrown from the table to the floor, and there were shards of what had probably been a glass strewn on the floor, where they'd landed after being hurtled at the wall.

Leon pulled his fist out of the broken drywall and shook off the plaster from his arm, breathing heavily. Tifa was still standing in the doorway, unsure how to proceed. In the blind rage, it took a few seconds for Leon to realize Tifa was there. When their eyes met, the expected control and default lax expression did not come back to his face. Instead, he just walked into his room and slammed the door.

Tifa stood there for a moment, hand still on the key in the knob.

"Well…okay then." She said quietly.

Still not quite processing what she'd just walked in the middle of, she tugged her key out of the lock, closed the door, and stepped carefully across the living room. Tossing her bag in her room on the bed, she double took and saw Duke curled up near her pillows. Tifa tilted her head. Duke usually curled up in Leon's room.

Further disconcerted, she stepped out of her room and looked to Leon's door. It sounded quiet on the other side. Her eye was drawn to the hole in the wall, which was at her eye level. In nearly five years of knowing him, Tifa had never…never…seen Leon lose control like that. He was the posterchild for composure. Throughout all of the drama and emotional turmoil of the war, he'd taken it all in stride.

What the blue blazes had finally gotten to him?

Tifa bit the side of her lip thoughtfully and stepped around the broken glass toward the small closet where the brooms and cleaning supplies were kept. Tugging the broom out of the mass, she slowly started sweeping the shards of angry glass into a pile. Leon had been acting off for the past three weeks. Running himself ragged, hardly eating, barely speaking, never sleeping, and up to the ungodly hours working on that growing stack of files, the files he always hastily put away or was careful not to leave…lying…around…Her eyebrow rose at all the papers strewn about.

No, she looked away, sweeping the glass into a collector and dumping them in the trash. After making sure she had found all of the sharp glass, she chewed a fingernail and looked over at the papers again.

Well…she couldn't just leave them lying around like that…

Glancing at his door out of some bizarre sense of caution, she knelt down and started picking up the papers splashed on the floor. For the majority of the past month, Leon had been accumulating and researching these papers like they were a map to the Holy Grail itself. Whatever they were about had to be just as rare and twice as valuable to him if he was investing this much blood and sweat into it.

As Tifa gathered the papers into some semblance of order, she noticed that they were about…nothing. Population variances on Enchanted Castle, attack patterns on Deep Jungle, Allied presence numbers in Olympus: it was the most random compilation of statistics that she had ever seen. In addition, there were folded up grid maps with notes in a coded shorthand even SHE couldn't decipher. Security camera print outs, Allied station blueprints, social network trees, and several handwritten eyewitness accounts to…petty crime…None of it had any common thread.

She straightened and set the pile on the table. The manila file folder lay closed near the middle of the table. It was unmarked except for two letters: RH, written in Leon's tiny, compact handwriting near the corner. Perplexed, she paused as she heard the shower start running through his door.

Trying to get Leon to talk about feelings was like trying to get water out of a rock. Tifa had quickly stopped trying to coerce him into sharing anything; he was so determined to internalize everything, fight his battles alone, and generally keep everyone shut out. She bided her time, finding the bread crumbs and following along the dotted line to what had molded him into what he had become…Lord knew he wasn't going to tell her shit.

RH.

There was no secret operation or mission that would have that kind of code…And none of the worlds or weapons or even soldiers had those initials, that she was aware of anyway. And since she knew the man would never tell her what was wrong, she had to use the power of context clues to figure it out herself.

So, with a huff and a hum, she thumbed through the top of the paper stack.

For the better part of the hour, she skimmed, glanced, and read parts of the file: reports, statistics, newspaper clippings, maps, security photo printouts…and she was more confused than ever. Leon was definitely looking for something…elusive…and she followed his train of investigation to so many dead ends, she was surprised he hadn't punched a wall sooner.

Then, like a hammer to the forehead, it hit her.

Rinoa Heartilly.

Tifa set the paper she was holding back to the table and shifted her chair backwards from the stack, averting her gaze. Of course. That would be the only thing strong enough to finally make him crack. Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, she stood and walked over to the couch, slumping down onto it and rubbing her forehead.

Now it was starting to make sense. After three weeks of following a promising lead, Leon had hit another dead end, or maybe the trail had gone cold, and he was back to Square One, once again, and Rinoa was still missing. Enough to break anybody, but she had never seen Leon break before…not really, honestly, truly break…like he had an hour ago.

The shower had stopped and Tifa chewed on her fingernail, staring at the opposite wall, her back to the bedrooms. This…this was an area she had no experience in. When he was annoyed with idiots at work, when he was pissed at the Council, when he was stressed to the point of not knowing his own name: she knew how to handle all of this. Sad was…not a color in Leon's crayon box. But he had always been there when she was dealing with Cloud's death and all of her emotional distress after that. He had never asked for emotional support from her and he had never seemed to need it. Well, now she got to stretch her comforting muscles, after months of disuse. Problem was, she was more likely to get physically thrown out of the room if she tried to help him.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she stood and walked over toward Leon's room door. It was still quiet on the other side. Pushing her hair out of her face, she lifted one hand to knock, paused, and dropped her hand instead over the door knob. She gave it a salutary jiggle and, when she received no 'go away's or 'leave me alone's, she turned the knob and slowly opened the door.

One lamp was on and, in a joint effort with the white walls, lit most of the room. Leon was sitting on the edge of the bed farthest from the door, back turned toward her. His elbows were on his knees and his head was in his hands. The knuckles of his right hand were already bruising purple and blue from punching the wall. He looked…hopeless.

Wincing, she opened the door further and took two tentative steps into the room. He had to be aware of her standing there, but he gave no physical acknowledgement of her. That was fine. She hadn't really been expecting anything. Folding her arms awkwardly in front of her, she glanced around the room, searching for a way to open this box, poke the bear, and let all that ugly and all that hurt spill out, and let him know she could handle it. Hell, he'd definitely seen her at her lowest point, now she was seeing him at his darkest hour. They'd call it even after this.

Tifa drew a deep breath and closed the gap between them in slow strides until she was practically standing right beside him. Leon didn't look up and she didn't say anything. The only indication he gave that he was aware of her at all was moving his hands from the sides of his head to his face, forming a net of fingers to hide what the curtain of his hair didn't.

She exhaled and sank to sit beside him on the bed. "Ten years is a long time."

His shoulders tightened and drew closer defensively at her soft-spoken words. "Twelve." He replied, voice thick and hoarse.

She swallowed and knit her fingers together, forearms across her knees. "Even longer."

"I just—" He cut himself off, running a hand over his face and staring at the floor. "—I'm tired."

She bobbed her head in understanding to that. He was five colors past tired at this point. He looked purely drained and exhausted, emotionally and physically. And there was something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on at the moment.

They sat like that for a minute or so, neither saying anything.

Tifa looked to Leon after that long minute, wishing that he would just open up to her. She had never given him reason to be suspicious or wary of her. Someone else had ruined him and his trust before she had come along. She averted her gaze again, looking at her hands.

"I saw the file." She confessed.

He breathed in deeply and didn't answer for several seconds. "Why?"

"Well…it was all over the place…Hard not to see the contents." She said, half apologetically, half innocently. She looked to him again. "Leon, this isn't healthy."

He exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck, not responding.

Tifa swallowed again. "This…this hunt, this obsession…It's going to kill you if you don't—"

"Don't what." He whispered flatly, finally looking at her.

His eyes were red and bloodshot, the skin around them puffy and swollen. He looked flushed and pale all at once and his eyes were just…so…completely naked and raw that she choked on whatever she'd been about to say.

"If I don't stop?" He said, voice rasping. "I can't stop looking…She has to be out there…somewhere. And I have to find her…Even if it does kill me."

Tifa sighed and lifted her arm, draping it over his shoulder so that her palm was flat over the crown of his head. "Leon…" She said gently. "You're stupid."

He blinked at her.

She ruffled his hair lightly with her fingers. "And if you give up and die on me, I will kill you."

He didn't look amused at her attempt at banter, and she pursed her lips.

"Look." She looked at her hand briefly. "I'm not saying that you should stop looking. I'm saying…take care of yourself. Don't disregard everything else, everyone else, for a maybe."

He looked away from her. "It's more than that."

She tried not to look too eager with this tiny opening he was giving her. She waited for him to continue on his own.

"For twelve years, I've been looking for her…twelve years…and all I've found are dead ends, cold trails, and migraines." He grunted hoarsely. "You'd think…if I'm looking for her, and she's looking for me…we'd…there'd be a…" He trailed away.

"You think…she's not looking?" She tried to help his word dilemma. "It's a big galaxy, Leon, it's hard to find someone even when—"

"You never knew her." He said lowly. "Her resolve was iron-clad. If there was a will, she could find a way. What if…I mean…Twelve years…It's a long time to wait for someone."

Tifa paused, trying to get this straight. He thought that not only was Rinoa not looking for him like he was looking for her…but she had replaced him? Did he think that little of himself? He was looking at her, as though for some kind of answer, and she wished she had one for him.

God, he looked so…vulnerable. That was the word she had been looking for. Vulnerability had an odd effect on Leon's face. That kind of raw, broken, trusting vulnerability was…beautiful. Definitely worth the wait.

Yet the quiet question was screaming from his eyes: what's wrong with me? As though not finding Rinoa after so long had rendered him flawed or dysfunctional. This couldn't have been further from the truth, in her eyes at least. But there would be no convincing him otherwise unless Rinoa herself walked in and declared it.

Well, he'd just have to make do with Tifa.

Leaning into his comfort zone, she knocked her forehead affectionately against the side of his head and briefly kissed the top of his temple.

"If Rinoa tries to replace you, wherever she is, then she's stupid too." She said quietly, ruffling his hair again.

Leon didn't look particularly cheered up at her remark, but he didn't pull away from the contact with her either. Taking confidence from this, she started to lean back, but something made her pause. When she hesitated, he looked at her. Unexpectedly, blood began to heat her face and she cleared her throat.

"Have…have you replaced…her?" The words seemed to tumble out of her mouth.

He paused this time, looking at her good eye intensely for a moment before his gaze flickered to her ruined one, under the patch. Slowly, he lifted one hand and slipped one finger under the elastic band of the eyepatch by her ear. She stiffened slightly, but didn't stop him as he tugged the patch away from the empty socket, revealing all of the ugly, mangled scars covering that side of her face.

Now they were both naked, in the most important sense of the word.

Wordlessly, Leon trailed two fingertips over the mutilated skin and she closed her good eye briefly, swallowing hard. She opened her eye to see him staring hard at her again, his face closer than it had been when she closed it. She started to open her mouth, but he leaned in closer, and his lips were warm as they pressed against the worst of the scarring, where her eyebrow had never grown back.

That entire section of her face tingled and a strange sensation blossomed at the base of her skull, spreading over her scalp and giving her goosebumps. The kiss was brief and soft, and then he was pulling back slightly, looking at her again.

"You are not a replacement." He said firmly. "You're…Tifa."

Something about the way he said that, all serious and awkward and with still bloodshot eyes, that Tifa felt like he was—Her thoughts were interrupted as he started to lean closer. She sat a little straighter, leaning in as well until their lips met.

She tilted her head just slightly, eyes drifting closed as the kiss deepened and, for a moment, the world spun around her in a slur of colors. He tasted like minty toothpaste. Some of his hair, still damp from the shower, tickled at the side of her face. She smiled through the kiss until they both withdrew, looking at each other, faces still just inches apart.

After a long moment, Leon said quietly. "I'll fix the wall."

Tifa chuckled at that. "Oh, I know you will." She leaned in just so. "Or I'll kick your ass." She whispered.

He smirked. "I believe you."

She stilled, soaking in the closest thing to a smile he'd given her in the last month. Then she remembered why he had been so burdened. Rinoa Heartilly. Tifa rubbed her forehead and stood.

"It's been a long day. I should—" She made an absent gesture. "—there's…uh—"

"Tifa—"

"You should sleep…get some sleep, I mean…You're practically a caffeine-zombie right now, and I need—"

"Tifa—"

"—to eat, because I am STARVING…"

"Tifa—"

"Duke." Tifa looked back to Leon as if she'd had an epiphany. "She's in my room right now because you're a caffeine-zombie and she thinks you don't love her. I need to cook something—"

"TIFA!" He snapped and she looked at him. A dry smirk curled the corner of his mouth. "Shut. Up."

Tifa stopped talking and just looked at him with a wide-eyed expression. She lifted her shoulders as if to say: what do you want now?

Leon looked amused with her, though his eyes were still glassy with exhaustion and emotional trauma.

"Sit down." He slapped the mattress lightly beside him.

She mustered a glare, not appreciating being ordered like a hapless child, but sat on the opposite side of the mattress from him. He didn't say anything after that, just turned and sank to his stomach on the bed and dropped his head on the nearest pillow, eyes fluttering closed.

Tifa paused, glanced around the room in confusion, and shifted. "You—"

"Shh." He lifted a hand, not opening his eyes. "Lie down and go to sleep."

"But—"

"Shh." He shushed her again.

She scoffed but reclined onto her back, snatching up one of the other pillows and resting her head on it. Oh, she hadn't realized how much her head hurt…and her shoulders ached…She was exhausted. With a sigh, she let her eye close.

"I'm so tired." She quietly moaned after a moment.

He grunted in agreement.

"Let's deal with all the other crap tomorrow, huh?" She offered.

He didn't answer.

Opening her eye just a sliver, she saw that his breathing had leveled out and he was motionless. Out like a light. With a soft sigh, she looked up at the ceiling.

"S'what I thought." She murmured, feeling her eyelid grow heavy as well.

He just needed permission to let go and be less than super-human for once.

"You're welcome…stupid." She grunted and rolled onto her side, curling up with her back turned toward him.

She licked her lips, tasted toothpaste, and smiled to herself.

They could figure out what that kiss had meant tomorrow.

So Tifa let herself be less than super-human and soon drifted off to sleep as well.

**..:-X-:..**

**A/N**: The title of this one was taken from a trivia tidbit from Disney's _Beauty and the Beast_, where Belle and Beast are the only two characters in the entire movie who wear blue.

Special shout out to all of my lovely reviewers! Fantasy0Girl, kikofreako, LadyTeefStrife, KMSaum, ilovefetamorethanyou, iVanillelay, Handwritten, , Leonlover1515, Atramentous Love, imej., SoulEaterDark, The Glaistig, justagirl8225, and, last but certainly not least, Kiss of the Breeze: thanks for reading and sticking with this collection! I hope you enjoyed it!

More Leon and Tifa writing is on the way, and I am taking prompts, so if you have a specific request, PM it to me. I'm planning a full length Leon and Tifa story, tentatively titled _As the Sun Sets on Mushroom Clouds_, so be on the look out. Also, to vote for the pairing name of these two, see the poll on my profile. I have also created a Leon/Tifa-shipping community, called _Matters of the Hart_, so if you find any fics that would fit this pairing, feel free to share it there.

You all have been great! Til next time!


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